Dr. Boje meets with all sides individually, taking detailed notes while maintaining strict confidentiality. This creates a safe space for honest expression before any joint sessions.

A specialized team of 2-7 conflict management coaches is assembled, drawing from volunteers in the Insight community, local universities and colleges, and Boje's network of trained coaches and consultants.

Each participant completes assessments using Boje's Decision Tree Software (versions 1.0-5.0), providing structured input on their experience, metaphysical orientations, and desired outcomes.

Virtual and/or on-the-ground workshops are conducted first with each side to the conflict, creating space for processing, reflection, and preparation for dialogue.

After respective coaching sessions, facilitated workshops bring everyone together for 'together-listening', finding common ground, and co-creating new possibilities.

Using the decision tree software, pretest and posttest measurements assess shifts in 'storying', 'together-listening', ability to find common ground, and mutual understanding. For larger populations, representative samples are used.

Used eight life dimensions (family, friends, community, work, health, learning, play, spirituality) to prevent conflict from colonizing a person's entire existence. The goal: recognize conflicts as "a flat spot on one spoke, not the entire wheel."

Result: Immediate perspective shift—the conflict becomes localized, not totalizing.

Concrete language for real-time boundary-setting during meetings and exchanges. Shifts from global attack to specific behavior, names boundaries without counterattacking.

Result: Transformed reactive defensiveness into intentional dignity protection.

Beneath: Unmask implied rules
Before: Gather earlier fragments when collaboration worked
Bets: Frame small experiments
Being: Track breath and body during live confrontations
Becoming: Challenge deficit labels with "Little Wow Moments"
Between: Notice relational dynamics
Beyond: Connect to larger meaning and spiritual dignity

Result: Shifted from trapped victim to active agent with multiple strategic choices.

1. Characterize Best Self: Identified high-point collaboration scenes
2. Externalize the Problem: Name the pattern—not identity, but interaction
3. Sympathize: Acknowledge legitimate needs the pattern protected
4. Revise T-E-B: Map Thoughts → Emotions → Beliefs
5. Capture Little Wow Moments: Collect micro-wins where dignity remained intact
6. Rehistorize: Write "Another Story" using only strengths
7. Publicize & Embody: Create personal manifesto and embodiment practice

1. You yourself must be true and prepare the energy and effort for a sustainable future
2. True storytelling makes spaces that respect the stories already there
3. You must create stories with a clear plot, creating direction and helping people prioritize
4. You must have timing
5. You must be able to help stories on their way and be open to experiment
6. You must consider staging, including scenography and artefacts
7. You must reflect on the stories and how they create value

Beneath-the-surface conditions: unspoken rules, power imbalances, scarce resources, value differences. These create the fertile ground where conflict can germinate. This is the "Beneath" realm where the seeds of future episodes are planted.

Parties become aware that their goals, values, or interests appear incompatible. Different people perceive the situation through different lenses—these stories are not the same. This is where antenarrative fragments begin to compete for dominance.

Emotional engagement: hurt, anger, fear, frustration, defensiveness. The conflict moves from the head to the heart, becoming personally charged and harder to resolve rationally. This is the "Being" stage where emotions colonize the body and mind.

Observable behavior: arguments, withdrawal, aggression, sabotage. The conflict becomes visible to others in the "Between" space of relationships. This is where intervention typically happens—but often too late, unless enthinkment practices are deployed.

The outcome feeds back into the system. If resolved well through restorying, relationships strengthen and the spiral de-escalates. If suppressed or poorly handled, resentment builds and feeds the next cycle's latent conditions—the spiral escalates. This is where "Becoming" either moves toward dignity or deficit identities.