Day 1 Male Menopause and Self-Healing

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At 1AM February 27, 2022, I was awakened by my first hot flash.  Male menopause had come calling. A wave of heat in my lower dantian (a few fingers below my navel) was churning. There are three dantian energy centers, the lower one nourishes the other two. Each dantian is a storehouse of energy, whereas the seven chakras are gateways. I could feel heat waves of lower dantian 2nd chakra gateway breathing fire, setting my belly ablaze was heating my watery 3rd chakra. See 7 Chakra Chart Fire and Water were both heating up. I remembered my chakra yoga exercises, and the chakra mantras Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu had taught me. I lie in bed next to my partner, moving the lower 1st, 2nd, and 3rd chakra gateways, to go with the flow of the lower dantian hot flash. I use the following trining, but not all of it, so as not wake my wife.:

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The mind-player technique I use is part of this way of getting my mind to talk to the inner storyteller subconscious I call Body Talker.

I got up to pee. Even with chakra vibration, no pee. Panic mounting. The muscles of the groin were too tight. I try to pee in the mason jar, but no pee.   The Water Up Fire Down Ilchi Lee recommends was not happening.  I was too worried and anxious to relax and pee.  The energy principle of Water Up Fire Down is a way to create calmness, clarity, and health while rejecting what's unhealthy.  I knew this hot flash was coming.

Medical Diagnosis & Prognosis: Notice the Powerful Vibratory Energy of the Semiotics words and images

Several doctors told me that taking this morning pill for 30 days and having the first shot would change my hormonal balance, lower the testosterone production, and accomplish the treatment known as chemical castration.  With a diagnosis of Stage 2B prostate cancer and PSA readings of 26.8, plus 17 biopsy samples, confirmed that the entire prostate was riven with a hormonal cancer.

The CT scan confirmed the cancer had spread to surrounding tissues, and and was preparing to lunch to other body organs. A gamma scan confirmed it had not spread to the bone. Last week's colonoscopy confirmed it had not spread to the colon or intestines. All good news. Four doctors agreed that initiating chemical castration would slow the aggressive cancer down, allow the prostate to shrink. If and only if it shrank from 100cc to say 66 cc, about 30%, then and only then would radiation be advisable, and if not, surgical removal of the prostate gland. Either treatment option, radiation or surgery, chemical castration is the first step. To delay invites spread. So 18 days ago I began taking the daily morning pill. I had a total of 30 pills, and only 12 to go.  As one doctor put, 'Enjoy the hot flashes.'  I decided to follow his advice, and enjoy them.

Hot flashes is only one of many side effects of chemical castration.  By the way that's not where they administered the Lucrin shot (much lower region, so hard to sit down for several days). The 30 pills during first month, and the Lucrin shots every six months These are main side effects (More): 

1. Reduced or absent sexual desire for two to three years, as testosterone reduction sets in,
2. Erectile dysfunction for two to three years (70% of men age 70 or over get this anyway),
3. Shrinkage of testicles
4. Hot flashes (Male menopause [aka andropause]; scientific community cannot agree on this; gives men memory, concentration, less sex drive, mood swings; can make one fall asleep at lunch time, short-term memory loss [too late!]), stress, lack of energy... 
5. No more sperm ejaculate ever again!
6. And good news, Hope at end of tunnel for 33% of the men

How do you define worry? Each day I check the size of my testicles, wonder about my sexual desire, and worry about my erectile performance.  I look forward to the light at the end of this tunnel. 33% of us return to sexual desire, erectile performance, and the testicle bounce back.33% will use Viagra. And 33 % give up or have some surgical robotic implant.

Time to Use My Mantra Training: Words Have Vibratory Wavelengths!

As all this overthinking flashes  through my mind, mixing together with my very first hot flash, I begin to take charge, to do my mantras, to quell the catastrophic thoughts, of my Monkey Mind. Really downer vibes do prevent Mind Body Spirit healing.  I remember my Jain name, 'Arihant' (or Arihanta). It is made up of two words: 1) Ari, meaning enemies, and 2) Hanta, meaning destroyer of enemies. Inner enemies are desires known as passions such as anger, ego, deception, and greed within us. To destroy inner enemies, make them friends. Then I have no enemies everyone is my friend. How can I make Male Menopause my friend?

How I begin to use my 'Mind-Player' Mantra (aka 'manō ramam')?

I tell my 'mind-player': "this is not the experience of my first hot flash I was going for." The 2nd chakra mantra for water is 'manō ramam' which Gurudev translates as 'mind-player.'  I did some study and 'manō ramam' is about pride and attachments. I had some attachments of pride to the predicted outcomes of the chemical castration treatment protocol.

In Jain Yoga, Māna (मान, “pride”) refers to a subclass of the interal (abhyantara) division of parigraha (attachment) and is related to the Aparigraha-vrata (vow of non-attachment). (More)

The 3rd chakra (fire) mantra is 'ram' that Gurudev defines a "the indweller who gives life to the mind body and senses" (p. 90). It's mantra is 'ram.'

Water Up Fire Down by Ilchi Lee (2020). This is the energy principle for creating calmness, clarity, and a lifetime of health and wellbeing. The fire of the 3rd chakra met the water gushing from the 2nd chakra gateway.  The whole body was doing what Ilchi Lee (2020) calls water fire circulation. All well and good unless the stress worry anxiety spiral is deviation amplifying into a tsunami.  All three dantians were churning energy in my Mind Body Spirit. I step up the game of the mind-player.

Mind-player is all about attunement of quantum vibrations. I prefer the word attunement to mood or feeling. My body is a tuning fork, in a universe of vibrations. My words, thoughts, and actions are vibrations. I can choose my vibratory mind-play: fear, anxiety, ambiguity, deep dive into turbulence, or move along to assertion, understanding, and to caring for myself and others. For more on attunements ontology, see Heidegger (1962) Being and Time. 

I call them the the ten attunements for short. My mind-player can choose my attunement (or if you prefer, my mood). Curiosity can take you deeper into turbulence. Same with idle talk (gossip). Now language and discourse is quite interesting attunement. As I said words, sentences, and discourses --- carry vibrations, some move toward the abyss, others toward assertion, understanding and care.  Each attunement (or mood) has its role to play. Fear can save your life, but it can become chronic, along with angst. You get the picture. There is a physiology of the Body, in the circulation of energy of Water-Fire dantian energy pools, that have various chakra gateways.  The Mind-player can gat in attunement with the energy pools and gateways, which sends messages to the Internal (subconscious) storyteller I call Body-Talker.  The body talks not just your mind, heart, or mouth.  Body Talker has its own intelligence, and if you bury some deep emotional scar and just cannot deal with it, the Body Talker tells the neurons and synapses to send some pain to some part of the body, or to produce mutant cells in an organ or bone or blood, rather than health cells. The Body Talker speaks and acts way too fast for the Mind-player to understand. Body-Talker is orchestrating the replacement of around 330 billion cells per day at a rate o 3.8 million new cells every second (source). The Mind-player's recourse is to keep up a pattern of though and habit, that the Body-Talker may notice, and change the program for cell replacement.

This is why I do daily Qigong, Shamanic Yoga, and so on. Idle talk is not enough

I am still not peeing. Yike! Body-Talker is part of Nature, as we are part of Nature. We are not apart from Nature.  Nature has the self-organizing power to cleanse all the pee in the world, to circulate it through the Earth's water revitalization system. Our pee is connected to the world's water system, flowing in underground water, in rivers and lakes emptying into oceans, evaporating in clouds, falling back to earth as rain, snow, fog.  It's a closed hydrological system and our Body is apart of it. We are drinking dinosaur pee, mixed with Cleopatra's bath water. We drink water that has been here over 4 billion years.

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WHAT STORY HAS WATER TO TELL To Menopause?

The Mind-Player practice means sending love messages to the pee, and to all the water that is about 75% of my body, from head to toe. Body-Talker.  The lower dantian is doing its job as water energy source, water filtration, and pee producer to go back into the water cycle of Mother Earth. Pee is part of watery force of energy for life on the planet.

Quantum Storytelling (QS) My Mind-Player is attuning to the life forde of water, including pee. As the water-fire energy circulation is happening in my body, it makes a difference to Body-Talker how I am relating to Male Menopause.  Menopause is a water-fire energy wave that vibrates through the whole body.  My goal in doing Mind-Player thought, word and Yoga action is to convince the much faster paced Body-Talker that I can deal with my shadow side, can face stuff I buried in my gut, stuff I have not faced until now. Body-Talker wants to support me not dealing with stuff I am not ready to deal with. So a little cancer here and there will take my mind of it.

True Self By doing Mind Body Spirit practices I am working with four kinds of heart, that are in relationship to my True Self fining its Authentic Being-in-the-World. 

Next I relate the 7 chakras (C1 to C7) to 4 hearts (Beneath, Before, Bets, & Beyond) that each point to Being that is the ever-new and ever-expanding spiral we depict in the Nautilus

Figure: How the Mind-Player and Body-Talker relate to Four Hearts and Seven Chakras

How the Mind-Player I can control and the Body-Talker Who Decides on Self-Healing of Dis-Ease Operates I begin to shift the seven chakra energy fields, to get them all moving in four hearts all pointed to every-expanding Being-in-the-world. I put on the 'helmet made of energy" (Lee, 2020: 162) and begin the Enthinkment process of self-healing by putting my Mind-Player in relation to my inner (subconscious) Body-Talker. When I don't deal with my own attunements to anger, anxiety, fear, trauma (or am stuck in past loops), then the Body-Talker goes on auto-pilot, takes over, and sends pain and even cancer to various part of the body to keep my mind from dwelling on all that I dare not face. As I face the shadow side, and restory the Little Wow Moments of my life, my Mind-Player gets into true storytelling relationship with my Inner Storyteller, the Body-Talker. The Body-Talker send out the subconscious messages to all the systems of the body on autopilot, that I have zero awareness of, until I do the breath work, yoga energy flow work, and open the chakra gateways, to release stuck quantum energy in various meridian and places in my own body.  This i what self-healing is all about. It is the relating of Mind Body Spirt in together-listening and together-telling.

Seven Chakras according to Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu (1979: 90-91 The Psychology of Enlightenment: Meditations on the Seven Energy Centers; its adapted in this table, Symbols by myself and artist Claudine Desrosiers). I am learning to do the Sanskrit Mantras because these words have power.

CHAKRAS	Senses	Elements	Color	Symbol	Quality	Mantra	Chakra Meaning	Jain Meaning
7 Crown	-	Consciousness of Self	White		Highest Consciousness	Om arhum namah	Thousand petals	I bow to the worthiest energy which I am
6 3rd Eye	-	Mind/Thought	Orange		Clarity; Insight	Pragna	Command	Wisdom (with compassion)
5 Voice	Hearing	Space	Mauve		Power of Speech	Aim	Clarity/ Insight/ Inner command	Energy of wisdom, purity, plenty
4 ♥'s	Touch	Air	Sky Blue		Love	Sohum	Abundance/ space / purity power of speech	I am That
3 Power	Sight	Fire	Red/Yellow		Expansiveness	Ram	Expansiveness/ power/ expression	The indweller who gives life to the mind, body, & senses
2 Sex	Taste	Water	Silver		Creativity	manōramam	Creativity	Mind-player
1 Root	Smell	Earth	Yellow		Security	Shivam shanti	Security	Benediction & peace

 I do the Mind-Player and the Body relaxes, I get to pee again. More important I am in communication with the Body-Talker, who is telling the body to make onlyhealthy cells or the mutant ones.

I am apart of Nature, and my actions matter. So I put this into bigger practice.

 
The Mind Body Spirit is in relationship with the Terrestrial elements of Gaia. 

Source of this figure with its focus on Terrestrial Triple Bottom Line (3Bl) and more on the Shamanic Drumming Meditation Sessions we did on these Chakras, and all the wondrous drumming for intentions, such as my own, is at https://davidboje.com/shamanic.

In order to have nature we have to change the E1 (enthinkment) and the E2 (enactment sensemaking) tools and bring forward new tools of mind body spirit, Gaia listening, Gaia stewardship.  We are called and morally answerable (Bakhtin) to participate in the evolution of Agapism (creative love) as C.S. Peirce calls it. We cannot have sustainability by using the same E1 and E2 tools that brought us into atmosphere, lithosphere, hyrdrosphere problems by our socio-economic, and instead do ecological business modeling as the new thinking tool of business storytelling.

I love being part of the new enthinkment of sustainability.

Boje, David M.; Jorgensen, Kenneth Mølbjerg. (2020). A ‘storytelling science’ approach making the eco-business modeling turn. Journal of Business Modeling, Vol. 8, No. 4, pp. 8-25. Click here for pre-press pdf. Please Click here for final print version PDF

Boje, David M.; Rana, Mohammad B. (2020). Defining a Sustainably-Driven Business Modeling Strategy with a ‘Storytelling Science’ Approach. Chapter to appear in Markovic, S., Sancha, C. and Lindgreen, A. (Eds.), Handbook of Sustainability-driven Business Strategies in Practice, Northampton, MA: Edward Elgar. Click here for pre-press pdf.

Mogens Sparre and Boje, David M. (2020). Utilizing Participative Action Research With Storytelling Interventions to Create Sustainability in Danish Farming. To appear in Organizational Development Journal. Click here for pre-press pdf. 

How can people care about nature when the business modeling is all about stress, competition, survival of the richest.  I am inseparable from nature and its spiritual ecology (Cajete, 2000). It's my spiritual evolutionary process.

 
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