Boje’s "True Storytelling" episodes Podcast https://apple.co/3p1ZbbK
Boje’s
“Quantum Storytelling” Podcast https://apple.co/3oIZxUK
On Thursday April 7, 2022, the head of Medical Oncology signed me up for a new clinical trial, in which an actual cure for Stage 4 prostate cancer is being tested. It is set of meds and other treatments, that have worked here and there in UK and US, but is not on the government’s approved list of so called ‘standard of care’ practices. Wonder Woman has found someone willing to try to ‘cure’ me. It’s impossible! It’s a miracle! It is ‘surrenders to spirit’ in action. I'm in gratitude.
I have stage 4 cancer and am getting best of care at best cancer clinic in the world. Since I learned of this in early January, I have been tested retested, and finally am on a treatment path that has lowered my PSA score for prostate to less than decidable (< 0.1) and in a couple weeks daily radiation will hopefully eradicate the cancer nest in my prostate, depriving the colony in the lymph nodes of support, they are already shrinking away, which leaves a slow growth in left kidney that is cancer of a different sort, and its a watch and see (no big deal variety). All said, I am now at 155 pounds weight (best in 40 years), eat vegetarian, get lots of exercise, meditate, and relax, so my blood pressure is down from 165 to the 120s and 130s on most days. I am in a special clinical trial, which means a wonder drug is being tested on me, and its working and I am healthy, happy, and terrific day-by-day.
What follows is the diary of events in my road to recovery and the discovery that I can have joy in each moment of my life.
DIARY (some entries for August and after are on the podcasts).
Boje’s "True Storytelling" episodes Podcast https://apple.co/3p1ZbbK
Boje’s “Quantum Storytelling” Podcast https://apple.co/3oIZxUK
August 29, 2022 Monday - The 15th of 28 Radiation sessions.
I have posted some events in above podcast links. Short story is I am half way through radiation treatments, then I will go home to New Mexico, and return for a monthly visit to Houston Texas to get the meds not yet on the market and to have blood tests done to make sure the PSA does not rise again. This continues for a year, then hopefully, I am cured and no relapse will occur.
What I am learning is radiation itself is not painful. What's stressful, even painful, is that for prostate cancer treatment, men must hold a specific target of water in their bladder for about an hour to an hour and a half (my target is 216 milliliters).
Before radiation events, there is the Simulation. Simulation occurs the workday before the first radiation event. It is done on a different machine, in a different wing of first floor of Mays Clinic. The evening before simulation day, there is one kind of enema and the morning of the simulation a different enema. the instructions are to drink a whole bottle of water (64 ounces) at home and another upon arrival, as you wait for the time of the simulation appointment. I kept having to restart, being unable to hold that much water in my bladder. There are ways around this outcome, which I will get to. During simulation, there is a somewhat different machine used, to figure out the way to tile your pelvis, and several tattoos are made to belly and abdomen. That doesn't hurt much. I was quite shaken by the Simulation experience. The machine showed I had gas, and to relieve it, so measurements were accurate, a catheter was used to push air in and take gas out. It was done by a man who could have been a starter on a professional basketball team. He had a good bedside manner, with lots of good joking around to soften the mood. When it was over, I ran to the bathroom, and put my pack that contained cell phone, books I was reading, and wallet, in the sink. Big mistake! When I finished urinating, I noticed the water overflowing the sink. It was one of those automated water faucets. My stuff, and the floors was a mess. I had to ask the many who led the Simulation procedure to help me. He actually was quite gracious about it. Sometime you meet people that don't embarrass you when you screw up.
Each day of radiation, you check in, answer 'No' to the six Covid questions, get a new mask, and check in again to show your radiation card with its bar code, and get an wrist ban. Then you walk down along hall to another check in booth (encased in glass, with or without one or two people there), and use an automated check in, a machine to scan your card. Drinking water takes place.
What it's like? On one side of the room are women waiting to go to their treatment rooms for radiation. The door opens and you can hear laughter and jovial conversation. On the other side of the waiting room, men sit with legs crossed in the waiting room. It is much more solemn. A few have penile clamps. As I said, I tried it, and it hurts like hell. One fellow, call him Tex, uses it, and told me how agonizing it is (beyond painful), but it's better than death. Each of us tries our best to time how long it takes for the water to travel from mouth to bladder. That is what the hour wait time is all about. Some days I have to restart the process several times (empty the bladder and try again). This makes it very difficult to not over-shoot the target, and have 400 to 500 milliliters in the bladder, and for me, it's impossible to hold it.
When you think you are ready and the room is about ready for you, a therapist calls your name out, and you go to a room, show your card, repeat your name and date of birth, as they check that data on your wrist ban, and the name on the card. Then you lay on a table and place a towel over your private parts, slip you pants and underwear down, and an ultrasound is done to measure the amount of water in the bladder 500 milliliters is about two cups. Doesn't sound like a lot, but the physiology process is more water keeps moving into the bladder as the body hydrates, and it's easy to overshoot your target. Best case, you can sense when bladder is over full, you have to go, and the restroom is available to go. Worst case you have to go, and the bathrooms are occupied.
The incident. Once, I could not find these conditions, so the drain in the drinking fountain had to do. How embarrassing is that? It was that or the carpet. A nurse caught me in the act, and I was sent to the head doctor who explained that I could not do that again. I was given my very own plastic urinal. I was also asked if I would put a clamp on my penis (called a penile clamp). I had tried it, and put it on when I was full of urine and had to go. It did not work. I applied the clamp, cinching it down, click by click, then the pee tried to escape the urethra, and it was like a dam ready to burst, and the pain was excruciating. We negotiated. I had been given an initial target beyond my physical capability, so at end if first week of daily radiation struggles, the doctor lowered the target by 20%. The doctor explained something I wish I had known much earlier. The bladder has a lot of nerve endings that sense when it's time to go, and alerts the brain. This whole procedure of trying to hold a specific target amount of water, past that point of nerves sending signals, goes against your physiology. It takes two or three weeks to get past that. If not, then the penile clamp is an option, of to call it a day, and not do radiation.
Other factors, is once a week, it seems there is an IT issue with the machine, or the radiation therapists are attending other patients and my window of opportunity (to hold my water long enough for the procedure) goes away. This is because , its darn hard for each of us to stay on the assigned schedule, without the restarts. I have been given a plastic urinal to carry around, in case I have to go, and all the bathrooms are occupied. There are two single-person bathrooms in the radiation area for men. And down a long hallway, near the building entrance, two more.
Another delay, is sometimes, the therapists have to re-tape the targets needed for aligning the body to the radiation machine. This taping is on top of the tattoo dots received during an event called the 'simulation.'
Some days I could time everything perfectly. I also got good advice from other patients. Don't drink water at home then travel to Mays Clinic. Better strategy is to arrive 90 minutes early, and drink the water in the waiting room. Some days, the hospital's bottled water supplier does not deliver water, so bring your own. At least bring an empty bottle and use the drinking fountain near the entrance of the building.
Another delay, is if your regular radiation machine is down for repair (mine is room 6) then getting the procedure done in a another room requires setting that machine, often by the therapists assigned to that room, and it can double the time you have to hold it. Other times, there are x-rays being done to check that bowel is not tilted into the bladder, blocking the machine's path to its target (gold chips embedded in prostate).
There are differences in the care displayed by the radiation therapists. My usual team of therapists are quite amazing: caring and competent. However, going to another room, I am not their usual patient, so the competence is there, but you can be treated like a 'thing' a non-person.
On the bad days, I manage after several restarts to lay on the radiation table and hold my pee. But if I am full of anxiety and overfull of pee, I am struggling, cursing, gritting my teeth, and staining every muscle. I have over active bladder. So it's difficult for me. It's an enlarged prostate that has shrunk just enough to be eligible for this treatment. I have also found it painful to walk. My muscles are deteriorating, and so are the tendons. This is my own hypothesis. My left leg from toes to rear end has numbness, then stining pain, then pain so bad I cannot talk.
This was a good day. Despite the pain in the leg, on Aug 19 2022 I gave my Keynote to the 8th International Conference on Socio-Technical Perspective in IS held in Iceland, with the help of the Enthinkment Circle. I could only concentrate and tak for 10 minutes, and the keynote was 45 minutes. So I gave the keynote with Grace Ann and I in the waiting room of the Radiation center of Mays Clinic, Houston Texas. We were on Zoom as were several Enthinkment Circle colleagues (Rohny, Jillian, Duncan). See it at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF-5BB-6nTc&t=159s
This is all embarrassing because I am used to succeeding in life. I have never missed a keynote, never given anything but my best. I want to be the best patient. Instead I learned that in the first week, its the patients in their third, fourth, or fifth week of treatment that give you advice and counsel to get through this with strategies that work (e.g. come early, drink the water in the waiting room, walk around a bit, go to the desk and tell them when you think you can not wait much longer).
So today August 29, 2022 is first day of third week of radiation. 15 radiation events done, out of 28 total. I don't have it down yet. I am struggling. If everything is perfect. I arrive early, I drink just the right quantity of water, a machine is available at the time I am ready, and no delays for maintenance or extra procedures, etc. then its all good. But, if I have to restart, I can have an ultrasound with too much or too little in my bladder. It spirals out of control from there. Last Friday I was there for four hours with four restarts before I could get everything in alignment. Fortunately there was an amazing patient in his last week of radiation, who sat with me, in the inner room next to the ultrasound room. He had had chemo and said "you know, I find radiation worse that chemo!" Wow, I did not know that. "Do you want me to get you a warm blanket? There are lots of them in heating units down the hall outside the radiation treatment rooms." I sat there and talked with him until my nerves settled, confidence returned, and gave it another try. I struggled and I go through it, as I said above, with some cursing, and tightening all my muscles. The radiation therapist advised me to just use a penile clamp. I replied, "I'd rather have a Rottweiler dog chew on my penis. So no, I refuse to use a clamp." I regretted being so direct about it, but I remembered I do have choices, and there is such a thing as patient rights. I do want to live, but somethings I cannot abide.
I had a good week end, and I hope Aug 29 2022 is a good day, and everything goes well for me and all the men and women in the radiation wing of the hospital.
<-- Bad
Future
Click
here for video on how to do this yourself
Boje’s PSA Scores 2022
(Standard Range
0.0-4.0 ng/mL)
|
Jan 13 26.8 |
Mar 3 9.1 |
Apr 1
1.5 |
Apr 11 0.8 |
May 12
0.2 |
May 6, 2022 Friday --> What is my Spiritual Experience of Stage 4 Cancer? In a word its Metanoia.
1 In you, Lord my
God,
I put
my trust.
2 I trust in you;
do
not let me be put to shame,
nor
let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No
one who hopes in you
will
ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who
are treacherous without
cause.
4 Show me your ways, Lord,
teach
me your paths.
5 Guide
me in your truth and
teach me,
for
you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all
day long.
6 Remember, Lord,
your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Do
not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to
your love remember
me,
for you, Lord, are good.
8 Good
and upright is
the Lord;
therefore
he instructs sinners
in his ways.
9 He
guides the
humble in what is right
and
teaches them his
way.
10 All
the ways of the Lord are
loving and faithful
toward
those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of
your name, Lord,
forgive my
iniquity, though
it is great.
12 Who,
then, are those who fear the Lord?
He
will instruct them in the ways they
should choose.[b]
13 They
will spend their days in prosperity,
and their descendants will inherit
the land.
14 The Lord confides in
those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to
them.
15 My
eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my
feet from the snare.
16 Turn
to me and
be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and
afflicted.
17 Relieve the
troubles of
my heart
and free me from my anguish.
18 Look
on my affliction and
my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how
numerous are my enemies
and how
fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and
rescue me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in
you.
21 May
integrity and
uprightness protect
me,
because my hope, Lord,[c] is
in you.
22 Deliver
Israel, O
God,
from all their troubles!
1. SettingBeing skeptical, science type, I knelt again, and said, 'OK, I need a more definite sign.' I took a break and went to Potlatch (name for snack place) and put a quarter and dime in the machine to get some Fritos. Instead of one bag, the spiral mechanism turned and turned, and dumped 12 bags into the bin. That was the answer: storytelling since 12 is a biblical number, not a statistic. Still the skeptic, the next day, I way the fellow refilling the machine. I asked, "is it possible if I put in my coins, that more than one bag would spin into the bin." His reply, "mechanically impossible for that to happen."
2. Purpose
3. Form
4. Context
5. Words
Under Form, was my answer: all about history, letters, and poetry (in short, this was storytelling, not statistics).
1. Wonder Woman, Grace Ann Rosile, romantic love, soul mates...
2. Heaven on Earth weekly sessions with Ken Long, doing True Storytelling Circles
3. True Storytelling Institute (TSI) sessions with Jens Larsen, Grace Ann Rosile, Jim Sibel, and Lena Bruun
4. Shamanic Drumming weekly sessions I facilitate
5. Enthinkment Circle weekly sessions exploring the thinking of Louis Ralph Pondy
6. Gaia-listening and Terrestrial Ethics world with professors from Denmark: Ann Starbæk Bager, Kenneth Mølbjerg Jørgensen, and Anete Mikkala Camille Strand meets now and again
7. Annual Quantum Storytelling Conference each December
8. Prostate cancer world with so many scientific specialties in a culture of so many cancer discourses
... and many more worlds I participate in, doing participative thinking in each, and together.
1. Ego-Who, means a consciousness of self
2. We-Who, means a consciousness of the social, family and friends, which can become quite oppressive or liberating
3. Corporate-Who (Corp-Who, for short), means all kinds of organization thinking I get caught up in, not just business, but also government, medical, education, military, and so on. Lots of hierarchical thinking, not the participative thinking Bakhtin imagines possible
4. Ecological-Who (Eco-Who, for short), means the intelligence of Nature, Gaia and the Terrestrial, like how a flock of birds can turn this way and that in mid-flight, how Mycelium fungi chains connect the roots of trees in the network of threads (hyphae) more complex than the human brain or the Internet, and sometimes mushrooms grow, otherwise just makes soil fertile doing the real work of rejuvenation, renewal, and planetary digestion, perhaps oldest natural living system.
As they say in Ghost busters, 'don't cross the streams' and then they do to form hybrids of more antenarrative processes than the seven I have studied since 2001 book.
|
Dates |
Places |
Bakhtin’s Situation |
|
1895 |
Oryol City (aka, Orel) in Russia |
Bakhtin born 16 Nov in Oryol
City, 229 mi. south/southwest of Moscow |
|
1914-1917 |
St. Petersburg (now Leningrad) |
Attended and graduated from
University of St. Petersburg At age 16, stricken with
osteomyelitis (inflammation of bone tissue)
|
|
1917 |
Oryol City |
Russian Revolution broke out |
|
1918 |
Oryol City |
Published 2-page article: ‘Art
and Responsibility’ which with two other
essays accepted 1920-1923 & 1924 but
publication postponed would become part of
1990 Art and Answerability book in English. Formed Bakhtin Circle with: Lev Vasilievich Pumpianskii
(1891-1940), Ivan Ivanovich Sollertinskii
(1902-1944) |
|
1920-1921 |
Vitebsk City in Belarus |
Bakhtin Circle expanded,
extablish the ‘dialogic’ concept Matvei Isaevich Kagan
(1889-1937), Pavel Nikolaevich Medvedev
(1891-1938), Valentin Nikolaevich Voloshinov
(1895-1936) 1921 Bakhtin Married his nurse,
Elena Aleksandrovna Okoloveich, who was part
of Bakhtin Circle and she scribed parts of
1919-1921 notebooks stored in a woodshed
until 1960s, and became 1993 Toward a
Philosophy of the Act book |
|
1924-1928 |
St. Petersburg (now Leningrad) |
1928 Medvedev’s book is couched
in Marxist language so it can be published |
|
1929 |
|
Voloshinov’s book is couched in
Marxist language so it can be published Bakhtin publishes Problems of
Dostoevsky’s Poetics book Joseph Stalin becomes dictator Bakhtin arrested by Stalinists,
charged with practicing religious beliefs,
exiled, and sentenced without trial for 10
years northern Siberia ‘Kazakh Autonomous
Soviet Socialist Republic’ along with
several members of Bakhtinian Circle. Able
to commute sentence to 6 years in
Kazakhstan, for health reasons and favorable
book review of Dostoevsky’s Poetics by party
member |
|
1930-1936 |
Kustani City |
1930 he received permission to
travel to the city of Kustani to find work
himself, instead of being assigned a job by
the government. Got position as an
accountant in a local government office and
helped train workers in the area in clerical
skills. 1934 exile officially ended, but
Bakhtin opted to remain in Kustani for
another two years. |
|
1936-1937 |
Saransk City (Russia); town of
Savelovo (outside Moscow) |
Bakhtin returned to Russia in
1936, settled in Saransk and took a teaching
job at Mordovian Pedagogical Institute. 1937, he moved to the town of
Savelovo; being only a hundred kilometers
outside Moscow (was able to once again
appear in intellectual and academic
gatherings) Bakhtin has worked on a book:
The Novel of Education and Its Significance
in the History of Realism, but tragically
the publishing house was blown up in German
invasion, the manuscript lost; thinking it
being published, he had used pages of the
original for cigarettes |
|
1938 |
Savelovo |
Bakhtin’s right leg is amputated He kept working form 1937 &
1938 on the ‘chronotopes’ and ‘discourse and
the novel’ essays that would become part of
Dialogic Imagination book. Gave lecture in Moscow at Gorsky
Institute |
|
1940 |
|
Finished dissertation on
Francois Rabelais, but due to war it was not
defended Bakhtin taught German in school
|
|
1945 |
|
Rabelais and his World, book
published |
|
1951 |
|
Defended dissertation on
Rabelais |
|
1952-1953 |
|
Bakhtin is writing material for
a book ‘the Genres of Speech’ which after
his death would become part with other
pieces in (1986) Speech Genres & Other
Essays |
|
1971 |
|
13 Dec, his wife, Elena
Aleksandrovna Okolovich, died |
|
1975 |
|
The Dialogic Imagination, book
published in Russian |
|
1975 |
Moscow, Russia |
Bakhtin died 7 Mar. in Moscow |
As the story goes, it has to do with Stalin's rise to power, and an edict banning meetings that included discussion of religious beliefs or went against the doctrine of historical dialectical materialism. Bakhtin preferred his dialogism approach to that of any dialectic, be in Kant, or Marx.Bakhtin, Mikhail. M. (1993). Toward a Philosophy of the Act. First written in notebooks (1919-1921), first published 1985-1986 as part of the work FIlosofiia I sotsiologiia nauki I tekhnike: Exhegodnik. The 1990 translation by V. Liapunov; ed. M. Holquist and V. Liapunov). Austin, TX: University of Texas Press.
It does not mean I live and act for my own sake.
Zoomed with Jain Chanting group and did a wonderful study of Vajra Castle (see book by Pramoda Chitabhanu (2001) Jain Symbols, Ceremonies, and Practices. 4th Edition. This is a sacred space with definite expectations for linguistic adherence to expectations. After the meeting, in the informal after-session, I got some important help in understanding a mantra I learned from Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu
Om ArHum Namah is a mantra I recite out loud or silently often during the day. In Jainism, this mantra of 7th chakra (the crown) is about bowing down to one's own inner divinity. This is a huge shift in thinking from my Catholic upbringing. I have been practicing Jain for 26 years. Now I am digging into the Sanskrit meaning of what I am doing.a1 is for Arihanta (which is the Jain name given to me by Gurudev) some 25 years ago. It means conquer of inner enemies, and the deeper meaning, that I have no enemies, every living being, even the cancer cells, are my friend, teaching me something (such as how to control my emotions, better exercise, how to find joy and happiness in each moment, understanding my spiritual purpose, and so on).
a2 is for Ashariri which means without body (SIddha).
a3 is for Acharya
U is for Upadhyaya
m is for Muni
Jai jinendra dear ArihantabhaSharda asks, I Keep wondering if you would find additional strength from the Dr Joe Dispenza book I left with you when I visited with Carm - You Are The Placebo.
kohum who am I
Sohum i am that
Nahum No that is not me
Watch the thoughts and words- what are we owning - identifying with - how is that serving my highest god my intention to be healed be peace
Identification - disidentification
What if
I am not David ( limited conditioning of Egoic learned self
I have roles as David Boje PHD but I am more than my roles - more than my legacy /
I have a mind but I am more than my Mind
I have emotions but I’m am not my emotions
I have thoughts and concepts but I am more than…
Sohum the flame 🔥 of the candle not the wax
Re identify with the wholeness the indivisible everlasting unlimited energy of Soul
I am one with the light
I am whole and complete And heal through the state of peace - of acceptance - of calm 🙏
Namaste dear one --> Sharda
Yesterday I received my apalutamide
(240mg) tablets and will take four tablets a day
for about 18 months. In the clinical trial I am
starting, the objective is to get European and FDA
approval for apalutamide to be used as treatment
in non-CRPC patients, in combination with
radiation therapy. As part of this new clinical
trial the objective is to compare my own High Risk
Prostate Cancer (HRPC) condition with cases of
metastatic Castration-Resistant Prostate Cancer
(mCRPC). Currently mCRPC are approved in Europe
treatment since 2018 and received FDA approval in
US in 2021 for mCRPC treatment.
Apalutamide has already gone through the
three phases of Clinical Trials for mHSPC: Phase I
trials test if a new treatment is safe and look
for the best way to give the treatment. Doctors
also look for signs that cancer responds to the
new treatment. Phase II trials test if one type
of cancer responds to the new treatment. Phase
III trials test if a new treatment is better
than a standard treatment (MD
Anderson
CC).
I am
enrolled in a Phase II Clinical Trial, comparing
HRPC (my case situation) with mHSPC (which has
already been shown to work effectively in those
cases). The Phase II Clinical Trial I enrolled
in is called ‘Phase II Trial of Primary
Radiotherapy with Androgen Ablation with or
without Adjuvant Niraparib for Selected
High-Risk Locoregional Prostate Cancer.’
Apalutamide
is not cheap. The cost for Erleada® oral
tablet 60 mg is around $14,253 for a supply of 120
tablets, depending on the pharmacy I visit. Prices
are for cash paying customers only and are not
valid with insurance plans. Erleada® is available
as a brand name drug only, a generic version is
not yet available. https://www.drugs.com/price-guide/erleada
Apalutamide
will
be provided to me at no cost during this Phase
II study. I and my insurance provider are
responsible for the cost of the androgen
suppression medication and radiation therapy. It
has been pre-approved by Medicare and Blue
Cross. If I get assigned to receive AAP + ADT in
combination with niraparib, abiraterone acetate
and niraparib it is also provided at no cost
during this study. If needed, me and the
insurance provider will be responsible for the
cost of prednisone.
Apalutamide Background History
In Europe,
Apalutamide (Erleada®) is a next-generation AR
inhibitor which was approved in 2018 for treatment
of non-metastatic castration-resistant prostate
cancer (CRPC) (see Smith et al., 2018).
Apalutamide blocks AR activation by competing with
androgen binding and preventing AR translocation
to the nucleus. It has a 5–10-fold higher binding
affinity than the first-generation anti-androgen
bicalutamide, which is widely used for PCa patient
treatment
The Janssen Pharmaceutical Companies of
Johnson & Johnson announced Jan 29 2020 that
the European Commission (EC) has granted marketing
authorization for the expanded use of Erleada®
(apalutamide) to include the treatment of adult
men with metastatic hormone-sensitive prostate
cancer (mHSPC) in combination with androgen
deprivation therapy (ADT).
Apalutamide
(240
mg per day) is undergone double-blind Phase 3
trial, with randomly assigned patients with
metastatic, castration-sensitive prostate cancer
(mCRPC) compared to placebo, added to Androgen
Deprivation Therapy (ADT). The end points were
radiographic progression-free survival and
overall survival (Chi et al., 2019: 13).
Apalutamide, a new-generation oral
androgen receptor inhibitor, is the first
nonhormone therapy drug to receive FDA approval
for the treatment of nonmetastatic CRPC (https://www.erleada.com).
Erleada achieved an 86 percent reduction
in PSA at 12 months in the majority of patients,
shows post-hoc analysis of Phase III study. Sep
13, 2021 (https://www.erleada.com).
“Apalutamide (ErleadaTM) is a
next-generation oral androgen receptor (AR)
inhibitor that is being developed by Janssen for
the treatment of prostate cancer (PC). It binds
directly to the ligand-binding domain of the AR
and blocks the effects of androgens. In February
2018, apalutamide received its first global
approval in the USA for the treatment of
non-metastatic castration-resistant PC (nmCRPC)”
(Al-Salama, 2018: 699).
Saad
et
al. (2021) report on a Phase 3 randomized
control trial that resulted in a greater
radiographic PFS for patients randomized to
Apalutamide/Abiraterone (22.6 months) compared
to 16.6 months for Abiraterone/placebo (HR 0.69;
95%CI 0.58-0.83; p<0.0001). However, OS was
similar between both groups (36.2 months for
Apalutamide/Abiraterone vs. 33.7 months with
Abiraterone/placebo; HR 0.95; 95%CI: 0.81-1.11).
Chi, K. N., Agarwal, N., Bjartell, A., Chung,
B. H., Pereira de Santana Gomes, A. J., Given,
R., ... & Chowdhury, S. (2019).
Apalutamide for metastatic,
castration-sensitive prostate cancer. New
England Journal of Medicine, 381(1),
13-24. AccessedApr
13 2022 at
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1903307
Saad,
F., Efstathiou, E., Attard, G., Flaig, T. W.,
Franke, F., Goodman Jr, O. B., ... &
Rathkopf, D. E. (2021). Apalutamide plus
abiraterone acetate and prednisone versus
placebo plus abiraterone and prednisone in
metastatic, castration-resistant prostate cancer
(ACIS): a randomised, placebo-controlled,
double-blind, multinational, phase 3
study. The Lancet Oncology, 22(11),
1541-1559. Accessed Apr 13, 2022 at https://facultyopinions.com/article/740905744
Smith, M. R., Saad, F., Chowdhury, S., Oudard,
S., Hadaschik, B. A., Graff, J. N., ... &
Small, E. J. (2018). Apalutamide treatment and
metastasis-free survival in prostate cancer. New
England Journal of Medicine, 378(15), 1408-1418.
Accessed Apr 13, 2022 at https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa1715546
“The
concept of an enacted
environment is
not synonymous with the concept of a perceived
environment, even though citations of the concept
would suggest that it is. If a perceived environment were
the essence of enactment then, as Lou Pondy suggested, the
phenomenon would have been called enthinkment not
enactment.”
"... activating the organ of speech such as the mouth and tongue, the teeth, the larynx and the lungs and so forth" (WcT, p. 198).That would be Enactment (E2), not Enthinkment, and there is a difference between saying something and what lies Beneath. Enthinkment does not just refer to language, or to the spoken, or to the five senses of sensemaking Enactment.
|
Boje’s PSA |
Jan 13 2022 |
Mar 3 2022 |
Apr 1 2022 |
Apr 11 2022 |
|
Standard Range 0.0-4.0 ng/mL |
26.8 |
9.1 |
1.5 |
0.8 |
| Component | Boje's Value | Standard Range | Flag |
|---|---|---|---|
| Testoster Tot | <3 ng/dL | L | |
| Reference Ranges: Male: Age 20 - 49 249 - 836 Age >=50 193 - 740 Female: Age 20 - 49 8 - 48 Age >=50 3 - 41 |
|||
Hippocrates Oath --" I swear by Apollo Healer, by Asclepius, by Hygieia, by Panacea, and by all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this oath and this indenture.To hold my teacher in this art equal to my own parents; to make him partner in my livelihood; when he is in need of money to share mine with him; to consider his family as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they want to learn it, without fee or indenture; to impart precept, oral instruction, and all other instruction to my own sons, the sons of my teacher, and to indentured pupils who have taken the Healer’s oath, but to nobody else.
I will use those dietary regimens which will benefit my patients according to my greatest ability and judgment, and I will do no harm or injustice to them.[6] Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so, nor will I suggest such a course. Similarly I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion. But I will keep pure and holy both my life and my art. I will not use the knife, not even, verily, on sufferers from stone, but I will give place to such as are craftsmen therein.
Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick, and I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm, especially from abusing the bodies of man or woman, bond or free. And whatsoever I shall see or hear in the course of my profession, as well as outside my profession in my intercourse with men, if it be what should not be published abroad, I will never divulge, holding such things to be holy secrets.
Now if I carry out this oath, and break it not, may I gain for ever reputation among all men for my life and for my art; but if I break it and forswear myself, may the opposite befall me.[5] – Translation by W.H.S. Jones." (source).
If you are found to be eligible to participate in this study, during Part 1, you will receive Apa + ADT.
During Part 2, you will receive radiation therapy and will continue to receive Apa + ADT.
In Part 3, the therapy you receive will depend on how many cancer cells remain in the
prostate biopsy sample after receiving the study therapy in Part 1.
The goal of this clinical research study is to learn about the effectiveness of AAP + ADT treatment plus niraparib versus Apa + ADT treatment alone, when given after standard-of-care radiation therapy in select male patients with locally or regionally advanced prostate cancer.Abiraterone acetate is FDA-approved and commercially available for the treatment of certain types of metastatic (has spread) prostate cancer. Prednisone is FDA-approved and commercially available as a corticosteroid. Niraparib is FDA approved and commercially available for the treatment of certain types of cancer, but not prostate cancer. Its use in this study is investigational. It is also investigational to give AAP + ADT in combination with niraparib to male patients with locally or regionally advanced prostate cancer.
Radiation therapy is delivered using FDA-approved and commercially available methods. The study doctor can explain how the study drugs and radiation therapy are designed to work.
The study drugs and radiation therapy may help to control the disease. Future patients may benefit from what is learned. There may be no benefits for you in this study.
Trafimow, David;
Haley, Usha; Boje, David M.
(2022). Best way not to misuse
p values is not to draw definitive
conclusions about hypotheses. BMJ
Evidence Based Medicine journal. https://ebm.bmj.com/content/early/2022/02/24/bmjebm-2022-111940.abstract
PC - prostate cancer in men (1 in 6 men get it), and is most common cancer in men. 1 in 7 women get breast cancer.
- In US, about 268,490 new cases of prostate cancer. About 34,500 deaths from prostate cancer Source
Prostate cancer is not as fatal as Pancreatic Cancer:
- In US, about 62,210 people (32,970 men and 29,240 women) will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
- In US about 49,830 people (25,970 men and 23,860 women) will die of pancreatic cancersource
TREATMENTS:
HRPC - high-risk prostate cancer (this is what I have, with Stage 4 PC).
For a century, the main treatment
RP - radical prostatecomy (removal of part or the entire prostate. RP become more popular 'standard of care' with anesthetics, and then with robotic surgery.
RT - radiation therapy became an option with advent of radiation technology; there are now several kinds, such as EBRT & BT, and can be used in combination)
EBRT - external beam radiotherapy
BT - Brachytherapy (a type of radiation) used in combination such as EBRT vs EBRT+BT
ADT - androgen deprivation therapy, approved in mid-1980s
6AS or 18AS - 6 or 18 months of ADTBO - bilateral
orchiectomy (surgically remove one or both testicles) . As you will read, for more than half a century, castration has been the standard of care in managing advanced PC patients. This was the dominant standard of care before ADT became available and approved in mid-1980s, surgical castration is bilateralorchiectomy (excision of both testicles), while chemical castration uses pharmaceutical drugs to deactivate the testes. I have met people whose dads had the BO surgery, and nothing else, and actually survived into their 90s.
CC- chemical castration my means of injection such as Lupron - It an now popular alternative to BO in treating
LUTS - Lower urinary tract symptoms (LUTS). LUTS is preferred term for prostatism
IPSS - The International Prostate Symptom Score. IPSS is questionnaire used to gauge LUTS symptoms. (Click here to see the seven questions and rating scales).
BPH - Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (one of the causes for LUTS, along with Bladder Stone, or PC).
Prostatitis - inflammation of the prostate gland. Prostatitis is classified into I acute, II chronic, III asymptomatic (III A) inflammatory (or IIIB non-inflammatory) prostatitis, and IV chronic pelvic pain syndrome.
PC. However, beware, there is the other use of CC for suppressing sexual desire in men convicted of sex crimes. Used in prisons. In 1996, California was first state to legalize CC for sex offenders. Florida and Texas have legalized CC, as did countries of Argentina, Denmark, Russia, and South Korea. In all nine US states have passed legislation authorizing use of either CC or BO to deal with sex offender recidivism.
RCT - randomized clinical trials
MM - multimodal treatment plans that can involve RP, RT, and ADT
QoL - quality of life benefits or outcomes
Female Prostate - In 2001, The Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology accepted female prostate as a second term for two Skene's glands found in the G-spot area along walls of the the urethra. Female PC is quite rare (less than 0.003% of female cancers).
A Brief History of How Sciences Changes its Mind About What is Each New Standard of Care
The NCCN (National Comprehensive Cancer Network) sets the 'standard of care' guidelines which most doctors and cancer clinics are following.
The Mean or Median Statistic is not Where a Cure is Found About statistics: most prostate studies report the percentage of people who don't survive after 5 months, after a year, after 4 years. I prefer to look at the fact that parts of the distribution of cases do survive. Most of us actually survive for longer time than the studies follow-up limitation of 10 or 12 or 18 months. Most studies report the mean of the distribution or the median value. Big mistake. My case is not the average value of a distribution of cases. If these cancer studies got away from reporting P-values, which many statistical associations now are moving away from, and instead reported the position of people in the actual distribution rather than the mean or median score (see work by David Trafimow), then the so-called standard of care for PC would change.
Standard of Care is A Moving Consensus The United States so-called 'standard of care' is based on an expert panel, consensus on the best evidence-based practice to recommend to the average cases. Radical prostatecomy (surgical removal of all or part of an organ, and much of the surrounding tissue) was the 'standard of care' for breast and prostate cancers for over a century. The choices were the dualism of 'watch and do nothing' or go under the surgeon's scalpel.
Finding a Rival Standard of Care Takes Time It was not until much more recent history that a rival 'standard of care' to the great duality (do nothing, or radical prostatecomy) emerged. In the beginning of the twentieth century, doctors experimented by putting radium (radiation) into the urethra and rectum as a palliative alternative to the radical surgery option. I will summarize an excellent history done by Denmeade, S. R., & Isaacs, J. T. (2002). A history of prostate cancer treatment. Nature Reviews Cancer, 2(5), 389-396. (See That History).
First some definitions. Palliative means, a treatment that relieves suffering or pain, but does not cure the cause of a disease. Then experiments began inserting radium-containing needles in the perineum, rectum, or the bladder (Denmeade & Isaacs, 2002). This treatment was painful to the patient. Then, in 1970s the radiology breakthrough happened, when Willet Whitmore described using an open implant technique. A radioisotope of iodine, sealed in miniature titanium cylinders was inserted into the prostate, but without any imaging device. Without imaging, this technique would deliver too little or too much radiation to mostly the wrong places. So Bracytherapy as it was called, declined in use. Another radiology breakthrough took place in 1983 when H. Holm reported implanting radioactive seeds using the image guidance of transrectal ultrasonography (Denmeade & Isaacs, 2002). Image guided Brachytherapy treatments emerged as a 'standard of care' that began to rival the century old radical prostatecomy (surgical removal) 'standard of care'. Since most cancer centers and most private practice doctors had been schooled in the duality (do nothing or radical surgery), it took decades for a rival standard of care to be treated seriously.
Androgen-Ablation Therapy began in the early 1940s, radiation therapy lost popularity as a prostate cancer treatment. Then in the 1950s, renewed interest in radiation treatment happened when higher-energy cobalt machines could penetrate deeper levels. Anecdotal evidence is not the basis for a national 'standard of care.' Early on, Juan Del Regato reported anecdotal results from a few patients who were apparently 'cured' with the cobalt therapy (Denmeade & Isaacs, 2002). By the late 1950s, Malcolm Bagshaw and others saw the possibility of a radiation curability for prostate cancer. Without randomized trials, with placebo control groups, the national panel would not set forth a standard of care. However, word spread, the story was out there, a cure for prostate cancer was possible. In the early 1960s, doctors tried combinations of a Cytoreductive Hormonal Therapy and Radiation Therapy as a way to reduce the tumor burden, and create a situation more favorable for external radiation (Denmeade & Isaacs, 2002). It took a while for this external-beam radiation used with Androgen Ablation Therapy to become a rival 'standard of care.'
As a storytelling research I look at history and the validity of the statistical studies. I question the way statistics are used to make policy decisions, then how doctors and clinics use the 'standard of care' value to make decisions in individual cases. What's clear is the 'standard of care' a century ago was radical removal of prostate and or testicles, as a way to stop the aggressive cancer colony from spreading. Since mid-1980's with approval of Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT), the 'standard of care' has shifted to most of us with PC being put immediately on ADT, then either a Radical Surgery Removal of Prostate, or most recently the standard of care has shifted once again to most doctors (everyone we talked to) recommending radiation plus ADT. However, there are side-effect to be aware of.
I am non-violent, a practitioner of Ahimsa (Jainism). So I prefer to love all my living cells including the cancer cells. I am not a monk, but maybe in a next life...HERE ARE SOME OF THE CURRENT RESEARCH STUDIES:
Denham, J. W., Joseph, D., Lamb, D. S., Spry, N. A., Duchesne, G., Matthews, J., Atkinson, C., Tai, K. H., Christie, D., Kenny, L., Turner, S., Gogna, N. K., Diamond, T., Delahunt, B., Oldmeadow, C., Attia, J., & Steigler, A. (2019). Short-term androgen suppression and radiotherapy versus intermediate-term androgen suppression and radiotherapy, with or without zoledronic acid, in men with locally advanced prostate cancer (TROG 03.04 RADAR): 10-year results from a randomised, phase 3, factorial trial. The Lancet Oncology, 20(2), 267-281. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1470-2045(18)30757-5
Study of optimal duration of androgen suppression for men with locally advanced prostate cancer receiving radiotherapy.
The RADAR trial in a 2 by 2 factorial design with random assignment of 1071 men, (group 1) 12 months of ADT, (group 2) 18 months of zoledronic acid (for those with bone cancer), or (Group 3) both, and a brachytherapy boost (Group 4).
The mortality results are analyzed in 10-year follow-up. No interactions observed in group 3.
At 10-year follow-up 375 of the 1071 (35%) had died:
The total number of deaths was 375 (200 men receiving 6AS+RT and 175 men receiving 18AS+RT), of which 143 (38%) were attributable to prostate cancer (81 men receiving 6AS+RT and 62 men receiving 18AS+RT).
The study interpretation: “Interpretation: 18 months of androgen suppression plus radiotherapy is a more effective treatment option for locally advanced prostate cancer than 6 months of androgen suppression plus radiotherapy, but the addition of zoledronic acid to this treatment regimen is not beneficial” (p. 267)
When analyzed by duration of androgen suppression, the adjusted cumulative incidence of prostate cancer-specific mortality was 13·3% (95% CI 10·3–16·0) for 6AS+RT versus 9·7% (7·3–12·0) for 18AS+RT, representing an absolute difference of 3·7% (95% CI 0·3–7·1; sub-hazard ratio [sHR] 0·70 [95% CI 0·50–0·98], adjusted p=0·035). The addition of zoledronic acid did not affect prostate cancer-specific mortality; the adjusted cumulative incidence of prostate cancer-specific mortality was 11·2% (95% CI 8·7–13·7) with zoledronic acid vs 11·7% (9·2–14·1) without, representing an absolute difference of −0·5% (95% CI −3·8 to 2·9; sHR 0·95 [95% CI 0·69–1·32], adjusted p=0·78).
======================
Nabid, Abdenour, et al. "Duration of androgen deprivation therapy in high-risk prostate cancer: a randomized phase III trial." European urology 74.4 (2018): 432-441.
Long-term androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) combined with radiotherapy (RT) is a standard treatment for patients with localized high-risk prostate cancer (HRPC).
630 patients with HRPC were randomized:
310 to pelvic and prostate RT combine 36 months
320 to same RT with 18 months of ADT
Overall Survival (OS) and quality of life (QoL) were measured.
At 9.4 year follow-up
290 of 630 patients had died
147 in group 1 and 143 in group 2
Conclusions
In localized HRPC, our results support that 36 mo is not superior to 18 mo of ADT.
“In this study, we report outcomes from high-risk prostate cancer patients treated with radiotherapy and either 36 or 18 mo of androgen deprivation therapy. There was no difference in survival between the two groups, with the 18-mo group experiencing a better quality of life” (p. 432)
=================
Schulman, C., Cornel, E., Matveev, V., Tammela, T. L., Schraml, J., Bensadoun, H., ... & Tombal, B. (2016). Intermittent versus continuous androgen deprivation therapy in patients with relapsing or locally advanced prostate cancer: a phase 3b randomised study (ICELAND). European urology, 69(4), 720-727. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S030228381500977X
Overall, 86 men died within 5 yr of study entry (44 in the CAD group and 42 in the IAD group) with no difference in OS between groups (p = 0.969) (Fig. 4).
no notable differences in quality of life measures.
“n this open-label trial, IAD and CAD administered after a 6-mo induction with leuprorelin acetate 22.5 mg 3-mo depot demonstrated comparable efficacy, tolerability, and QoL in patients with nonmetastatic locally advanced or relapsing PCa. The principal potential benefits of IAD compared with CAD include reduced drug acquisition costs with comparable OS rates. There were no apparent differences in QoL benefits between the treatment groups”
=====================
Moris, L., Cumberbatch, M. G., Van den Broeck, T., Gandaglia, G., Fossati, N., Kelly, B., ... & Wiegel, T. (2020). Benefits and risks of primary treatments for high-risk localized and locally advanced prostate cancer: an international multidisciplinary systematic review. European urology, 77(5), 614-627.
https://aura.abdn.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/2164/15969/Plass_etal_EURUROL_Benefits_and_risks_AAM.pdf?sequence=1
This is a systematic review of existing literature for high-risk localized and locally advanced prostate cancer for 90 studies published between Jan 2000 and May 2019 that met inclusion criteria.
Radical prostatectomy (RP) and external beam radiotherapy (EBRT, abbrev. to RT) and Brachytherapy (BT) or combine multimodality treatment (MM) were compared.
Both RT and RP are seen as part of multimodal treatment plans, with possible addition of BT. Randomized Clinical Trials (RCT) were included in the study.
With metastases at 5 or more years follow-up, and cancer-specific mortality. as the outcome variables.
“High levels of evidence exist for EBRT treatment with several RCTs showing superior outcome for adding long-term ADT or BT to EBRT. No clear cut-off can be proposed for RT dose but higher RT doses by means of dose escalation schemes result in an improved biochemical control” (on line).
In short, I am likely to undergo multimodality (MM) treatment. For high-risk localized and locally advanced prostate can, RP and EBRT and long-term ADT can be recommended as primary treatment.
4 studies wooed no statistical difference between RP and RBRT plus ADT. 27 of 30 studied favored RP to combination of ERBT plus ADT. Survival ranged from 10% to 28% and from 4% to 8% respectively at 10 year follow-up (favoring RP compared to ERBT plus ADT). However, more sexual dysfunction and urinary incontinence in RP and more GI toxicity after RT.
Conclusion - based on the literature review, both RP as part of multimodal treatment and EBRT plus long-term ADT can be recommended as primary treatment in high-risk and locally advanced prostate cancer.
=================
Kishan, A. U., Steigler, A., Denham, J. W., Zapatero, A., Guerrero, A., Joseph, D., ... & Romero, T. (2022). Interplay Between Duration of Androgen Deprivation Therapy and External Beam Radiotherapy With or Without a Brachytherapy Boost for Optimal Treatment of High-risk Prostate Cancer: A Patient-Level Data Analysis of 3 Cohorts. JAMA oncology.
Study to determine ADT duration threshold for patients with high-risk prostate cancer receiving EBRT or ERBT with a brachytherapy boost (ERPT+BT).
Retrospective of 3 studies totaling 3410 men withe man age 62-74, with high-risk prostate cancer found significant interaction between treatment type (EBRT vs EBRT+BT) and ADT duration between leads that 6 to less than 18 months, and greater than 18 months.
Patients receiving only ERBT not associate with significant improvements, but with ERBT+BT a longer duration, and with 28 months of ADT improved outcomes.
======================
Shore, N. D., Antonarakis, E. S., Cookson, M. S., Crawford, E. D., Morgans, A. K., Albala, D. M., ... & Concepcion, R. (2020). Optimizing the role of androgen deprivation therapy in advanced prostate cancer: Challenges beyond the guidelines. The Prostate, 80(6), 527-544.
ADT reduces PC regression, relieves symptoms, and prolongs survival. However, ADT has side effects detrimental to patient’s quality of life, necessitating additional treatments.
A 14 member panel composed of urologic and medical oncologists did expert review of use of ADT in advancePC patients. They work din 4 separate working groups.
The panel gave recommendations for monitoring PC patients while on ADT and stressed importance of quality of life maintenance.
In my case, the roel of ADT in metastatic castrate-sensitive PC
ADT is the gold standard treatment for metastatic PC. Panel recommended maintaining patients with metastatic castrate-sensitive prostate cancer (mCSPC) on continuous ADT rather than intermittent ADT, but for certain patients with cardiovascular conditions, reduction in ADT is warranted.
History
For more than half a century, castration has been the standard of care in managing advanced PC patients. The major breakthrough in ADT care was in the 1980s, with development oF LHRH agonists, approved for patients with metastatic disease. Practicing urologists used ADT therapies across the entire spectrum of PC. Medical data from 1991 to 2005 found 44.8% of men with PC exposed to ADT within first year of treatment. Of these 51.8% were ages 75 to 79 and 60.1% over 89. With the known side-effects judicious use of ADTacross the PC spectrum is arranged.
======================
Lu, Y. C., Huang, C. Y., Cheng, C. H., Huang, K. H., Lu, Y. C., Chow, P. M., ... & Hong, J. H. (2021). Clinical Outcomes in Locally Advanced Prostate Cancer Between Radical Prostatectomy and Radiotherapy With Androgen Deprivation Therapy: A Propensity Score-matched Analysis.
Compares RP and RT with long-term ADT in locally advanced PC.
325 patients with stage 3 or 4 PC and media follow-up of 59.2 months.
37.1% in RP group and 69.9 in RT group.
The RP group had a higher risk of biochemical recurrence compared to the RT group.
The RT plus ADT significantly decrease risk of biochemical failure.
TO date no randomized trail has compare RP to RT plus ADT in locally advanced PC. Most retrospective studies have inevitable selection bias. This study use matched method.
There was o statistical difference in overall survival. There were only 10 deaths in the cohort of 325 patients at the 59.2 (median) month follow-up.
=======================
Niklas, C., Saar, M., Nini, A., Linxweiler, J., Siemer, S., Junker, K., & Stoeckle, M. (2021). Can local treatment prolong the sensitivity of metastatic prostate cancer to androgen deprivation or even prevent castration resistance?. World journal of urology, 39(9), 3231-3237.
Metastatic PC, there is long-lasting sensitivity to various forms of ADT after RP.
115 RP cases with T4 PC reanalyzed. Overall survival was median of 156 months. 84 patients had biochemical recurrence (61%) and 44% (at 150 months).
===============
Kinnaird, W., & Stewart-Lord, A. (2021). A qualitative study exploring men’s experience of sexual dysfunction as a result of radiotherapy and androgen deprivation therapy to treat prostate cancer. Journal of Radiotherapy in Practice, 20(1), 39-42.
Sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction, low libido, ejactulatory problems, & penile shortening) is common side effect of EBRT and ADT treatment of PC.
Interviews with 8 men living 18 to 30 months after EBRT +/- ADT. Results: All men experienced sexual dysfunction following treatment. Interviews include condid discussion of self-perception and relationships, as well as physical changes.
A focus on ‘cure’ can contribute to men’s perception of not being properly prepared for sexual side effects.
impacted on their self-image and the nature of their intimate relationships. Here are some interview comments for patients 1, 2, and 4.
“We had a good sex life before and that’s… that’s vanished now, you know it’s… not the end of the world but it’s disappointing.” (P1)
“I don’t feel one hundred per cent a man because I’m not able to have that function in my life. I know I feel inadequate sometimes… We had a fantastic sex life and now that’s non-existent.” (P2)
“I mean if there was something that could get it back working then fair enough… I miss the intimacy and that side of it.” (P4)
======================
"When the X-ray came back with a suspicious unidentifiable shadow on the left, the doctor ordered a full body scan. The results of the scan were more than suspicious. The monk's body was peppered with small masses for which for which there was no logical explanation except cancer. They were in his lungs, his bones, and his liver. ... I explained the monk's condition.... The translator conveyed my words carefully. ...When I finished speaking, he spoke just a few words to the translator and then nodded to me, and said in a soft careful English, 'I accept what is'."Everyone there, reexplained the situation to the monk, then outlined several treatments to fight the cancer. The monk had this reply, "I love all of nature." The monk accepted what is, and decided to live every living cell of his body, enen the cancer.
These past forty years, I've been a storytelling researcher. I use my storytelling training to challenge the rather simplistic stories about Spirit Cancer Sex. The fact is cancer has been living in my body for at least four decades.
What's the cancer story? How did one cell mutate and fool all the many intricate body defense systems? How did one cell mutate than make a home for millions of living mutated cancer cells? How come the body defense measures developed over millions of years of evolution, to identify and exorcise mutated cells, was fooled so easily?
My thinking on the matter, is the one cell mutated, turned cancerous, while I was serving my country in Vietnam April 2nd 1969 to April 2nd 1970. Cancer cells become millions of cells quite slowly, over four decades, as best as I can figure out. The Digital Rectal Exam (DRE) and the PSA test don't catch a few thousand cells. Millions must colonize in a place, for the tests to succeed in spotting the cancer cells. Another line if thinking is my dad had several cancers, including lung and prostate cancer, but died of a heart attack, with the remote control in his hand and a smile on his face.
As a thinker, I am making choices about these lines of thinking. My intention is to be a Centennial, to live 100 plus years. I am 74 years old, so I plan on another 26 plus years. I want these to be quality of life. I will work with the quarterback (Medical Oncologist) and the entire team of specialists.
I am a thinker. I have learned to stop thinking, when I need to rest, when I want to enjoy life's wondrous moments. As a thinker I am questioning the entire cancer industry, all the Western Ways of Thinking (WWOT). Enthinkment means I take a step thinking about this or that cancer. The way is cleared to take another step forward. This is called prospective thinking about my bets on the future. Which treatment will get em to Centurion. Which treatments actually work? Are there differences between treatments such as hormone therapy, surgery, and targeted radiation? As it turns out not as much difference as you would think. Not as much difference as is advertised by the cancer care industry.
It all started when on living cell mutated in a way that would invite millions more, fool the body defense system, and begin to colonize more places in my body. Did it start with genes passed from my father? There is no way to tell for sure. Did that first cell mutatate from exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. There is no definitive test, just speculation.
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Book: Stage 4 Cancer Journey to Self-Healing:
Stoic: Cancer is a sign of wickedness.Stoic reactions is no joke. In some Western religious circles, cancer is God's punishment for the wicked. In India and China, some people treat cancer as a sign of bad karma in the past (or current lives) of the entire family. Of course, both the stoic reactions to caner being a wickedness are absurd and show real ignorance of their own religious foundations. The worrier cannot drop the anxiety and keeps catastrophizing-about-the-future instead of just living life. The victim likes the attention. I opt to be a problem solver.
Worrier: Cancer has lots of side-effects.
Victim : Cancer get you lots of attention.
Problem Solver: Overcome fear and anxiety and deal with the proble.ms at hand.
" During its operation, the Settlement Fund distributed a total of $197 million in cash payments to members of the class in the United States. Of the 105,000 claims received by the Payment Program, approximately 52,000 Vietnam Veterans or their survivors received cash payments which averaged about $3,800 each.
The problem is that the symptoms of Agent Orange qua prostate cancer do not show up until men are in their 50s and 60s, or in my case 70s.The other part of the Settlement Fund, the Class Assistance Program, was intended by the distribution plan to function as a foundation. Between 1989 and 1996 it distributed, through a series of Requests for Proposal, $74 million to 83 social services organizations throughout the United States. These agencies, which ranged from disability and Veterans service organizations to community-based not-for-profits, provided counseling, advocacy, medical and case-management services. During this period, these organizations assisted over 239,000 Vietnam Veterans and their families. On September 27, 1997, the District Court ordered the Fund closed, its assets having been fully distributed." (More).
I am an antenarratist bringing the power of storytelling to the cancer healing arena. Every 'Fore' word means 'in advance of.' Ante means 'antecedent.' Put the 'Fore' and the 'Ante' together you get what I have been defining as 'antenarrative processes' for over two decades. And here I bring antenarrative into Mind Body Spirit of my life.
The Back
Story Here’s the back story. I met Grace
Ann Rosile in 1995, and immediately become vegetarian.
Grace Ann took him to meet the Jain monk, Gurudev Shree
Chitrabhanu, who said, ‘David you are Arihunt,
that is your Jain name. I listened, taking notes on every
word. I wrote Arihunt means ‘conqueror of inner enemies.’
After meditating on his inner enemies every morning for
ten years, I returned exhausted to the monk and asked for
a new name. Gurudev, informed me, 'you misheard me,
'‘Arihunt means you have no enemies, everyone is your
friend.’ That began a very different spiritual journey. In
December 2020, after a Vision Quest on the Organ
mountains, Mike ThreeBears gifted me my second name, ‘Surrenders
to Spirit.’ I actively listened, and wrote
down, ‘Sacrifices to Spirit’ in my notebook. These stories
of mis-hearing, illustrate the difference between deep
listening and actually hearing spirit.
I was so deep in chronic stress in 1995, so filled with
semiotics of fear, worry, rage, anger, and accumulated
trauma, my Mind Body Spirit could listen to words but
not 'hear'! My body had a
cholesterol score of 400 (off the charts). Agent Orange
from my tour in the Army in Vietnam 1969-1970 was
infecting my Body organs slowly, putting me seven times
the usual risk for men to have prostate and live
cancer.
Current Story When
I met Grace Ann in 1995, I instantly switched my diet
from junk food with lots of processed chemicals
(poisons), lots of sugar (poisons), and salts (more
poisons) to plant foods (not poisons). I got into
it and became vegan, and currently am doing raw food. In
2022 the cholesterol scores is 200 (still high), and on
its way down to my target (under 100). I used to think
'whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can
achieve.' Now I know this is a half truth.
The other half is the body and spirit. Mind Body
Spirit are a Quantum Energy Field that I call 'Quantum
Storytelling.' Most quantum physics scientists
focus on the physical, reducing body to energy waves and
particles. Some do allow for mind (observer effect), and
very rare is the quantum scientist who includes Spirit.
Chronology of Tests
and Opinions A
chronology lists the events by date and my
Stress (Subjective Units of Discomfort SUDS
scale 0 to 100.
Be forewarned: There is a good deal of medical
semiotics (language & grammar) one learns in
the western medical model.
Jan 2nd 2022 I noticed blood
droplets in my urine. This lasted for a week. Stress
level is 75%
Jan 7 met with general MD specializing in Palliative
Care (means Mind Body Spirit). Tests were scheduled, and
referred me to a cancer expert MD who recommended CT
scan and Gamma scan. My Stress calms a bit to 65%
Jan 13 blood test at a lab;
results indicate cholesterol 250, which is high, but in
1996 it was 550, and the vegan diet has brought it
down. Prescribed Ciprofloxacin 500MG 2 pills a day
to bring it down.
My Prostate-specific antigen (PSA) score
was 26.8. 1 to 1.5 is normal range Under 4 ng/mL of
blood is OK. PSA scores below 4.0 correlate with155
probability of prostate cancer. It takes a biopsy to be
sure. Between 4 and 10 is borderline. More than
10, chances of prostate cancer are 50%. My
stress level is better, 50%, after all its not final,
PSA is probabilities, not certainty.
Jan 21 The Biopsy
Procedure Local shots that are not
painful, and then 17 needles poked through the
prostate to take tissue samples. Also not
painful. But the whole procedure is
terrifying, as I worry over the results, and can
I hold my pee during the test. I do OK.
Have to wait for results. Stress is rising to
about 60%
Jan 26 CT Scan - I am injected with
iodine and scanned in my lower regions. It is
painless but th time waiting and the procedure as I
think and overthink all that is happening is
excruciating. My stress level is 75%.
Jan 28 Gamma Scan - This is the bone scan. A
radiated substance is injected, and you return hours later to
have the scan. It is painless, but all the 40 minutes to
laythere being fed in and out of the scan machine, I think and
overthink everything, and my stress level is 100%.
Feb 2 2022 The Diagnosis in Las Cruces, NM:
An aggressive prostate cancer apparent in 13 of
17 biopsy samples. CT scan indicates it is all
through the prostate and has launched into
surrounding tissue outside the prostate. Diagnosis
is stage 2B headed to Stage 3, with 31%
chance of living five years after surgery.
The Gamma scan of the bone indicates no bone
cancer. However the scans indicate a small
cancer on right kidney (not sure what kind it
is). Colonoscopy is recommended and
scheduled. The cancer specialist in my
city recommends I see a radiation specialist in
El Paso. Stress level lowered by meditation,
exercise, Shamanic Drumming to about 50%.
Feb 9 (about) - phone call to schedule
intake and possible visit to MD Anderson in Houston. My wife
and I read about special Proton radiation machine they have to
treat cancer. We schedule intake, and were told a team
of surgeon, radiologist, and clinician would review all the
tests done in New Mexico, and give a team opinion on diagnosis
and best treatment options. We read they had some
clinical use of Tibetan Yoga, and were interested.
Unfortunately that was not happening now. So I continued to
use YouTube sources for Qigong Yoga, Tai Chi Yoga, daily
Prostate Yoga with Amit (very effective in getting the
prostate and bladder to calm down). Also do weekly Kung Fu
breath and body workouts (Shaolin, taught on FaceTime by my
son's teacher Sifu Wong), weekly psychoanalyst visits who does
Shamanic ceremony, and did Shamanic Yoga mediation along with
my core shamanic drumming meditation daily. This all helps me
to manage and cope with stress of the diagnosis, prognosis and
the treatments.
Feb 14 Radiation Oncology MD -
This doctor in El Paso specializes in prostate
radiation therapies. There are several
options.
1. External Beam Radiation
Therapy, 28 radiations in 5 weeks: pass x-rays to the
can cells after inserting 3 gold chips in fiducial
that body dissolves in six months. The gold allows the
Halcyon radiation machine to stay within a millimeter of
the target. Much more advanced than the older
radiation technology.
2. Extreme Dose
MIR-fusion (in addition to #1)
3. 5 high-dose radiation treatments (in addition to #1)
4. Brachytherapy is an extra dose to to above options: Place
catheters into the prostate, and pass in radioactive
material. Do this two times.
Results of surgery or radiation are similar for 10
year life results. In short, no difference in the long run
from doing surgical removal of prostate, or doing radiation
therapy. Ii double checked the medical journals, and this
appears to be true storytelling by the medical model.
This doctor is not a fan of MD
Anderson and their Proton radiation approach. It is
described as bait and switch, since Proton is not
applicable to prostate cancer because the prostate moves
about when you breath, and Proton machine cannot stay on
target. MD Anderson purports to be a team approach
(clinical, radiation, and surgery doctors and their
staff), but mostly its just surgery. The El Paso
MD trained in Houston at nearby non-Anderson hospital,
and worked with many patients after Anderson had done
their thing. The El Paso MD outlined a plan. Do ADT
(Androgen Deprivation Therapy)
beginning today. If and
only if the prostate responds to
lower testosterone levels, then
and only then do radiation. If
my 100 cc enlarged prostate is
not reduced by 30% then no
radiation, get prostate
surgically removed, at MD
Anderson or wherever. Even after
surgery there is usually
radiation treatment. Surgical
removal side effects are loss of
control of urine, so
napkins/diapers are a must, loss
of erections, etc. Surgery to be
avoided if at all possible. Side
effects of radiation are much
more minimal, and one does
recover sexual function 30% of
the cases, and 30% use Viagra,
and rest not much hope except
surgical implants of mechanical
device. Given the plan is
hopeful and all I do is take
pills daily for 30 days, and a
shot every 6 months, I have time
for other opinions, and to go to
MD Anderson and get their
opinion.
Feb 15 2022. Went to pharmacy got
the ADT (Androgen
Deprivation Therapy) pills, and a mouth
guard (my teeth were grinding again, and I
needed to remedy that until my stress got to 0).
The doctors in Las
Cruces concur with the doctors recommendation in El
Paso, and the ADT
begins. The local doctors prescribed
Bicalutamide 50MG tablets, 1 a day for 30
days, which is part of the ADT to lower
my testosterone, which is rocket fuel for
prostate cancer. ADT inhibits growth but
does not completely kill the cancer cells. Side
effects are hot flashes (male menopause),
testicle shrink, fatigue sets in, loss of
ability for erection, and no more sperm
ejaculate (not all bad news). So I exercises
twice as much and run twice as far each day to
keep up muscle tone and energy resilience which
works fine. If I stay in shape, the
testicles will grow again, erection can come
back, and orgasm possible (but no ejaculate, so
could be fun). In short as the doctor in El Paso
put it, there is light at the end of the tunnel,
if you are not a couch potato. No hope for them
whatsoever.
Feb 20 (about then) got the shot for ADT
(Androgen Deprivation Therapy). Shot happens
every six months over next two years or possibly
three. The shot effects are a soreness in
the rump for about 8 to 10 days. This is
potent stuff. It lowers testosterone, and along
with the pills I take for 30 days (Bicalutamide
50MG (twice a day), the chemical castration will
be complete.
Mar 2 2022 - fly to Houston to MD Anderson. WIll spend 8 days here. Go to a great raw food restaurant and relax after the flight, then onto the Air B&B. It is a great place to relax.
Abstract: Thirty-nine men with prostate cancer were randomly assigned to treatment with 200 microg of selenium, 400 IU of vitamin E, both, or placebo. Laser capture microdissection of prostatectomy biopsy specimens was used to isolate normal, stromal, and tumor cells. Gene expression in each cell type was studied with microarray analysis and validated with a real-time polymerase chain reaction (PCR) and immunohistochemistry. An analysis of variance model was fit to identify genes differentially expressed between treatments and cell types. A beta-uniform mixture model was used to analyze differential expression of genes and to assess the false discovery rate. All statistical tests were two-sided.
Results: The
highest numbers of differentially expressed genes by treatment
were 1329 (63%) of 2109 genes in normal epithelial cells after
selenium treatment, 1354 (66%) of 2051 genes in stromal cells
after vitamin E treatment, and 329 (56%) of 587 genes in tumor
cells after combination treatment (false discovery rate = 2%).
Validation of 21 representative genes across all treatments
and all cell types yielded Spearman correlation coefficients
between the microarray analysis and the PCR validation ranging
from 0.64 (95% confidence interval [CI] = 0.31 to 0.79) for
the vitamin E group to 0.87 (95% CI = 0.53 to 0.99) for the
selenium group. The increase in the mean percentage of
p53-positive tumor cells in the selenium-treated group
(26.3%), compared with that in the placebo-treated group (5%),
showed borderline statistical significance (difference =
21.3%; 95% CI = 0.7 to 41.8; P = .051). NOTE: If I'm
interpreting this correctly the placebo group did better than
the Selenium treatment group.
Mar
3, 2022, The Experiencing MD Andersen, the Cancer Mecca
Wow!!! MD Anderson is the mecca for cancer. Thousands of people
here this day. You
get a new mask at the door, and a bracelet with a scanner code
on it. We found
our way through the Skyway, seemed a mile or more, to the
appointment waiting area for Dr. Pettaway. My bracelet was
scanned, and I filled in some forms, including an American
Urological Association (AUA) 'BPH Symptom Score Index. I was called in
after a brief wait for blood pressure and weight.
I weigh 161 pounds, down
from 178 two months ago. That is due to doubling my jogging
distance, more military regulation push ups, some squat
thrusts, and lots of yoga.
My heart rate 128/81, not too bad. The Finger monitor
showed oxygen 97% and heart rate 56, which is rating for an
athlete. Back to waiting on the 7th floor. We
waited 90 minutes, and nothing.
I had don Qigong routines, lots of meditation, and
tried to stay in the calm, cool, collected zone. Succeeded, then went
to inquire about the weight. The attendant said, 'waiting for
a room.' I
asserted myself, 'how about some service. 90 minutes is a long
wait!'
Finally, a very nice nurse,
who is an assistant to Dr. Pettaway came out to greet us. She
told us, that we were supposed to do blood test first, and did
not know why intake kept doing things backwards. And this was
an unusual day, with so many people coming for care. OK, so
what to do? She
said go to 2nd floor and get the blood work done.
At 1PM, we headed for the
appointment with the Diagnostic Lab for a blood test that
would yield new PSA score. The place was packed. More people
there than at the airport, and in much smaller space. Most all chairs
taken, no social distancing at all. Everyone in masks.
You sign in on a terminal after putting a prophylactic on your
index finger. I pecked the keyboard, and I'm in the system. Grace Ann struck up
a conversation with a lady she had encountered earlier. The
stories we heard. Her hometown doctors had removed her
thyroid. She came to MD Anderson, who reanalyzed the results.
Turns out a perfectly good thyroid was removed, and the root
problem was elsewhere in her body. There are many such
stories.
I found out it would be
another 90 minute wait. So I set a timer on the iPhone and
headed to a balcony off the cafe, to get some fresh air and
some peace. Wait
almost over and Jacky the assistant to Dr. Pettaway sought us
out on the balcony. Apologized again for the wait and wondered
if we wanted to wait for the blood work. Only 25 minutes to
go, so we waited.
My name finally came up, and
got in the wait line, a much shorter line, and was quickly
sent to a room. Blood drawn we went back to the 7th floor.
Nicky had told us to just knock on the
door, and not to wait to be called in. Before we could
knock, she opened the door for us.
First met a very competent
doctor, fresh out of med school. He went over our records from
our hometown doctors. He had the actual images from the CT
scan and showed pictures of two potential lymph nodes that
were missed by our own doctors.
It could be an hour or two before today's blood work
results were processed by a lab.
So on to the rectal probe. Did it professionally. He
felt the prostate, and a part of it, he indicated was hard to
the touch. I was
happy it was only a part of it.
He answered questions and reviewed the treatment plan
our home doctors had devised: to do the ADT chemical
castration, which by this date, was well under way. In May or
June, if the enlarged prostate has shrunk by 30% (was at 100cc
Jan 26th 2022), then and only then radiation, and if that is
not possible, surgical removal.
The MD Anderson doctor though it strange we were
assigned to surgical team instead of to radiation group. He
was listening to us. Great relief.
Dr. Curtis Pettaway came in
and took over. He has an amazing bedside manner. Just the
right amount of storytelling about things not related to
medicine. He is also vegetarian, and likes that we are on raw
food, and doing lots of exercise, and managing our stress
level. He
went over the notes of his assistant and looked at the
imaging. He said
he was going to get us scheduled for an MRI to really see what
was going on in the prostate.
He asked about the El Paso radiologist MD's treatment
plan. I explained about the gold infusions, and how all three
home doctors were not all that keen on MD Anderson proton
radiation. Dr. Pettaway was forthright. He said MD Anderson
has gold infusion technology, and there are things that they
can do with Proton radiation if it proves necessary. The main
thing is to get a full team of radiation, surgery, and
integrative medicine together and share expertise. Prostate
cancer is very complex. Good, I like complexity! After another
probe and more Q & A, I was asked if any doctors back home
had done a Cystourethroscopy? I was advised to get other tests
done, but we could do this one, here and now.
This is the procedure for placing a camera
on a probe that enters the urethra to explore the
bladder. Dr Pettaway said a local anesthetic would be
used. I felt good about that part of it. I was taken to
a room nearby, where the procedure was explained, and I signed
a release form. I am sharing this with you because, many men
have had botched procedure, and are terrified about ever doing
another. MD Anderson prides itself on having a competent staff
that is caring, compassionate and knows how to make the
experience a good one. 'You've never had a
Cystourethroscopy?' 'No, I replied, its my very first
time.' I changed into a gown, provided a urine sample,
and an was seated in the chair with the stirrups that keep my
legs apart and elevated. A very caring person
administered the numbing agent, and pumped my bladder full of
cool liquid. Not too bad a feeling. Then the intern
inserted the camera and guided it into the bladder. "Do you
want to watch?" I said, "I might just keep my eyes
closed. Not sure I want to see this." But curiosity got
the best of me, and I was looking at the monitor, As she
steered right or lift, up or down, I could feel the movement
inside my body. I could see the walls of my urethra, and its
tender pinkish red coloring, and lots of blood veins. It
looked OK to me like I was in that 1996 movie, Fantastic
Voyage, shrunk to the size of a few cells, and traveling
through my own body.
I am traveling in the space of my own body,
while watching on the monitor. We arrived at the
bladder, and everyone crowded around the monitor, to see what
we could see. It was a huge cavern, with pinkish walls,
lots of blood vessels, and nothing menacing. Dr. Pettaway was
the guide. "This is one of the channels your urine comes
in. It looked clear and healthy to me, but I had no
comparison point. There was this small sink hole, about
the size of a thimble. It had good edges and looked nice and
rosy like the other parts of the bladder. All said and
done, the bladder got a clean bill of health. What a relief.
The voyage was over, and I
went to pee out all the liquid. Much have been 12 ounces.
"Drink eight glasses of water a day for a few
days, to flush out your system. It will prevent infection,
not usual but better to be safe." We were released to
go have dinner. I had not eaten anything all day but was not
really that hungry. Found a Foods Market restaurant by
Rice Center. Fantastic vegan food. Bought some jackets
and a sweatshirt at a nearby used clothing store. I forgot
to pack mine.
We got home and the MRI was schedule for
March 12 at 6:30AM. We extended our stay at the Air B&B,
got airline reservation changed, and our house sitter caring
for our dogs was good with it.
What
was I learning? MD Anderson does
indeed have together-listening and together-telling. Experts
from many fields were going to do a number of consultations
with me. Instead of waiting weeks for appointments, some
could be done in a day or less than a week. I would get a
biopsy on the two-lymph-node sighting. Lab results happened
in hours, not days.
I opened the MD Anderson site, and my blood
work results were there. I gave blood at 2:31 PM and
results were in at 3:28 PM. We were so busy with the
Cystourethroscopy, we had not checked results.
I was jumping up and down with joy. I
scored a PSA of 9.1 mg/ml. which is down from 26.8 in
January. The ADT treatment combined with the
prayer and Shamanic drumming of loving friends, and my own
Shamanic Yoga, Prostate Yoga, the Shaolin Kung Fu
training, and the therapy with a Shamanic practitioner had
all keep my stress low, and lots of exercise. I was looking
at hope. And it felt good.
Message:
MyChart
Alert: The MRI
procedure got rescheduled for today Mar 4, 2022. I was doing
a 4-mile run when I got a call from Grace Ann. I was halfway
and headed back. Got bathed and re-dressed, reentered our
Uber info, and off we went to MD Anderson. Good thing I had
not eaten anything or had much water to drink. I could hold
my pee. Got to the entrance, was given the new mask, and a
new ID bracelet at the MRI center. Filled out same
questionnaire about metals, metal plate, jewelry and so
forth. Had to fill it all out again. Left the form in the
waiting area. One computer bonkers, the next one worked, and
we redid it all.
Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) for
Prostate
"Your MRI exam may use an
The MRI erects a magnetic
field with radio frequency pulses. Doctors use Prostate
MRI to evaluate the enlarged, its prostate cancer and see if
the cancer has spread. MRI produces clearly and more detailed
imaging than the CT or Gamma scans I had in New Mexico.
The Prostate Cancer MRI Experience
After half hour of forms and
endless questions. Do you have any metal on or in your body?
Are you in good health? etc. then the IV apparatus inserted
just above my left wrist. I took two pills to relax and
tranquilize my pelvis muscles. It is said to wear off by the time the procedure
is done. I am
parked along with three other patients awaiting their turn in
an MRI. I am assigned to MRI room 2, and there are four rooms. There are about ten
people attending to the patients and preparing the MRI rooms,
or doing intake. Some
are permanent staff, others are students getting MRI
technician profession credentials, and will graduate with a
Bachelor degree. After an hour wait time, I walk into MRI room
2. Two people are
there to greet me, one full time MRI professional, and one
student trainee.
The MRI
prostate procedure is described in Google as a noninvasive
test. I beg to
differ. I roll onto my left side, a gel is liberally applied
by the student, and the endorectal coil with its magnets,
all encased in an inflatable latex balloon is inserted inch
by inch into my rectum. How do you spell invasive? It is
then inflated by a sort of bicycle pump, and the coil is
attached by a thin wire to the MRI machine. I roll onto my
back, and a warm blanket is placed over me. A plastic
encasement is placed over my pelvis to hold it motionless
during the coming event.
I am guided to place my arms
and hands at collar bone height. I am handed a small ball
attached to a cold cord that is called 'the panic button.' "Squeeze this ball
if you have a panic attack. We will stop the procedure and
extract you from the machine."
Good to know. Or, is it alarming to know? I cannot
decide which. I am told, "hold onto this rolled up towel, one
end in each hand. If your hands ever touch they can create an
electrical circuit. The MRI pulse beams could complete that
circuit and it affects the results of the imaging." In other
words, the world would explode, and all life on the planet
would come to an end. I grasped the ends of the towel but
elected not to hold onto the panic button. A towel was placed
over me.
The machine begins to whine
and groan. It comes alive, and the platform I am lying on,
facing the ceiling, begins to roll me into my tomb. Its a
white cavern, with inches of space for my body. I keep moving slowly
into the cave to my forehead. I can see the palm tree picture
lit up on the ceiling. Nice effect. It is a soothing island of
peace I can send my mind to.
The MRI does not use radiation (x-rays). Too bad, I
could use some radiation. For now all the testing is to
determine which radiation or which surgery is best for my
bodily condition. I have a drip IV in my left wrist, but it
does not become activated until the last five minutes of the
procedure.
Magnetic resonance imaging
with radio frequency pulse waves begins. The table I am on is
thrust inches deeper into the cavern. I close my eyes.
Perhaps I won't open them again until this is all over. It is
hard to resist taking a peak. I tell myself 'don't look down
at your body, it could cause vertigo.' With decibel sound
vibrations equal to any KISS music concert, the machine makes
sonic boom sounds, and piercing shrieks. I feel the quantum
energy waves pulsate through my body to the inner core of my
Being. I imagine I am riding my Harley Davidson through a
mountain pass during a thunder storm. The lightning flashed
strike the ground, again and again, all around me. Then come
the thunder claps. Waves of electromagnetic energy course
through my body.
A 1987 Harley Electra glide I owned and Rode in
LA
The storm ceases. I hope it
over. It's not,
the table moves inches deeper into the cavern. I open my eyes.
I am in the tomb. I can tilt my head up and see out. Directly
above my eyes and nose is a row of slits, through which air is
breezing on my face. Nice touch. I appreciate air circulation. Enough respite. The
sonic booms begin again. My mind tries to do shamanic drumming
meditation, but it's impossible to concentrate. Impossible to
hold an image. I go back to riding my Harley Davidson. Fight
heavy metal thunder with the HAWG. I open up the throttle, and
the Harley lurches forward into the storm. Lightning strikes
the ground, and there are flashes of red, orange, and yellow
colors. I know from experience, after the light flashes, comes
the roaring thunder. But
this thunder is different, there are iterations of low radio
frequencies intermingled with high pulsing frequencies. I give
up trying to meditate, and decide to just go with the flow. My
Wu Wei training tells me to stop resisting. Resisting just
brings one more stress in life.
After more spaces of
silence, giving the beast time to rest, it awakens and the
sound wave bombards my body once again. The waves penetrate
deeper this time than last time. I choose to meditate on
Little Buddha, and after many interruptions I make contact. He
is actually Little Mahavira, a Jain incarnation. I tell you
it’s Little Buddha, since you are more likely to have heard of
Buddha, but probably not much experience with Mahavira. There
are 26 births before his incarnation as a 'tirthankara'
(defined as someone who succeeded in crossing from a series of
rebirths to a path of enlightened awareness). Born 540BCE, and
died 468BCE, about age 71 or 72.
Historically, Mahavira was born a bit before Buddha. At
age 30, Mahavira renounced the worldly life and became an
ascetic. He turned to meditation to conquer his worldly
desires and thus became known as 'Jina' or conqueror. Mahavira added the
principle of chastity to four pre-existent principles (no
violence, no lying, no stealing, & no possessions.). During his lifetime,
Mahavira established a like-minded community of 14,000 monks,
and 36,000 nuns. Chastity is sort of my current condition with
the ADT chemical castration. Might as well make a choice of
it.
The MRI senses my meditative
escape, and intensifies its powerful magnetic field. The radio
frequency pulse change rhythm. I hope this makes for clear and
coherent images for the MD Anderson and my hometown doctors to
example and make a righteous diagnosis, a treatment plan, and
a prognosis of life after this entombment. This is no
ordinary MRI. The machine is dialed up for multiparametric
(Mp-MRI), an advanced imaging technique to yield pictures of
the prostate gland, and two possible lymphatic zones. All the
quantum field (my name for it) vibration waves set my bodies
water in motion, and blood perfusion peaks within the
prostate. This vibrant mattering helps the doctors
differentiate diseased cells from normal prostate cell tissue.
The prostate
sits in front of my rectum, at the base of my penis and just
below my bladder. The prostate surrounds the first part of
the urethra, through which a camera was inserted yesterday.
The prostate has a function, to make the milky fluid called
'sperm.' My
hometown doctor used an ultrasound to image the prostate.
The Mp-MRI is much more comprehensive imaging.
The Mp-MRI Comes to a Sudden Halt
It's too early, by my calculation, to be over.
The technicians rush into the room. I hope I'm not on fire.
There is a lot of heat, my bodily fluids are hot!. "It's OK, we just
need to make an adjustment to your endorectal coil, the
encasement is losing air, deflating." They roll me out of
the machine, then get the bicycle pump out, and give my
inserted sort of basketball, some needed air. They twist and
push the coil apparatus a bit deeper, and check the wire
connector. "All good," they say, and roll me back into the
cave. They run
from the room. Do they know something I don't? The machine
restarts and does some low frequency attunements than gets
underway. I look up and I am immersed into the machine and
can stare, if I choose, at the row of air slits and feel the
gentle breeze. The
machine kicks into high great, and the shock waves are more
dramatic, more severe, not painful, just annoying. I'm a blacksmith,
a Harley rider, and love heavy metal thunder. But this is
all a bit much. I
go back into Qigong breath work. Tongue to the upper cavity
of my mouth as I breath in, then shift the tongue to the
inside of the lower jaw, to breath out. I find Little
Buddha in the deep ocean. My power animal, the Great White
Shark, gives me a tow, and we arrive at the red hut, deep
down. I enter the watery membrane, and there is fresh air to
breath. I know
not to rush the entrance. Experience whatever color light
show up: red light, a white tone, a pink one, an orange. I can hear the
storm on the ocean surface.
I move to the transporter room (like in Star Trek),
and call for Little Mahavira, and he's there. "What message to
you have for me." He
says, "breath more slowly. Calm your breathing. Focus on the
breath." I do as I was instructed.
The monster MRI machine is
jealous. It switches rhythms and dials in a frequency
vibration that is completely different. The table moves me a
bit deeper. The waves are directed at the pelvis, no longer at
the chest. My
arms are numb, my left foot starts to cramp. I wiggle my toes
ever so slightly. I apply what I learned from Shamanic Yoga,
to care for my own body.
It is longer than an hour.
Restarting the MRI after adjusting the rectum balloon, added
to the total time. There
is announcement, I hear the voice of the MRI technician on a
loud speaker. We are going to inject the contrast material
through your IV. It is gadolinium, not an iodine contrast I
had in the CT scan back home.
"Remain perfectly still. This will take five minutes."
There is
click sound, and the gadolinium surges through the IV and
into my left arm. It feels like its spraying fluid all over
my hand and arm. But I don't feel liquid at the elbow, so
perhaps that is just how it feels. I tell myself,
'Stay calm. Stay still. You don's want a redo. It must be
about over, and this could be the last part.' The monster
machine rears, and buck, and there is yet another kind of
rhythm, and the sonic booms are less deafening, but more
penetrating. These
radio waves re-align my hydrogen atoms throughout my body.
Each type of tissue has hydrogen atoms. As the radio waves
subside and pause, the tissue flesh return to normal
hydrogen alignment. The Mp-MRI is sensitive to these
hydrogen atom shifts, and collects that data. Each type of
tissue in my body reacts differently. The coil in my rectum
is communicative with coil encircling the entire body. Each
series of waves, and pauses between waves, produces images
on thin slices of my body.
This way, the MD Anderson team can study the image
slices at different angles. I can get what I call a 'quantum
storytelling' (QS) of the vibrant mattering slices, once the
team of doctors and technicians gives all this image library
an interpretation, a diagnosis.
Not a
full diagnosis I still have to have
biopsies on the possible lymph-nodes. I am scheduled back
home for a biopsy on the right kidney. I still must meet
with the radiology oncology folks and with the integrative
medicine folks (who are more focused on Mind Body Spirit).
The technician bounds into
the room with the student assistant. "It's done. We are going
to roll you out. Now
roll to your left side, and we will deflate that ball, and
extract the coil form your body." It comes out inch by
inch, and I am praying nothing else comes out with it. I hold
it together. I think having a pee will feel pretty good. "Can you sit up? Can
you walk?" asks the student.
These are good question. It's been 90 minutes, three
hours in total. I'm OK, but looking forward to seeing Grace
Ann, who has been waiting all this time, and getting some
fresh air.
We exit MD
Anderson, get an Uber to Whole Foods, and buy 12 liters of
water. I have a lot of drinking to do. We buy some other
groceries and head back to the Air B&B. We eat and
relax. Before 5PM on this Friday Mar 4 2022 we call the
appointment schedulers to get set up with the integrative
medicine group, and with the radiation unit. Will wait and see
when they get back to us.
Results of MRI (See
Imaging, wait a minute for it to full load the imaging)
Summary:
1. PI-RADS 5 lesion involving the bilateral
peripheral and transition zones and present from the base to
apex, compatible with biopsy-proven carcinoma; frank
extraprostatic extension; no evidence of seminal vesicle
invasion.
2. Pelvic lymphadenopathy, compatible with lymph node
metastases. Compared to prior CT urogram, the lymph nodes appear
overall decreased in size compared to prior study.
3. Subcentimeter L4 vertebral body abnormality, indeterminate
and may be degenerative given location though warrants attention
on follow-up imaging. Prior negative bone scan noted.
OVERALL PI-RADS category: 5.
FULL RESULT:
Examination: MRI PELVIS W WO CONTRAST PROSTATE on 3/4/2022 1:06
PM
Comparison prostate MRI: None; lymph nodes were compared to CT
performed 01/26/2022
Prior therapy: hormone
PSA: 9.1 ng/mL on 03/03/2022.
Gleason score: 5+5.
Clinical history: Grade group 5 prostate cancer diagnosed at
outside facility via nontargeted biopsy.
Indication: Prostate cancer staging.
Technique: Prostate MRI acquired at 3 T with an endorectal coil.
Three-plane localizer, axial T1W and axial DWI of the pelvis
were performed. Three plane T2W, axial T1W, axial DWI with ADC
reconstruction of the prostate were acquired. Axial dynamic
contrast enhanced sequence was performed with a focus on the
prostate.
Motion artifact: None
Findings:
Prostate measurement (3-plane): 6.1 cm transverse x 5.3 cm AP x
6.3 craniocaudal dimension.
Hemorrhage: Mild
Benign prostatic hypertrophy: Severe
Lesion #1 is challenging to accurately measure given its shape
approximately 5 cm and involves the bilateral, left greater than
right, peripheral and transition zones and present from base to
apex with an example on:
Image # 20, series 9.
PI-RADS Score
T2: 5.
DWI: 5.
DCE: plus.
Lesion overall PI-RADS Category: 5.
Extra-prostatic extension (EPE): found at a few locations, such
as from the left posterolateral and anterior margin of the base
to apex and from the posterolateral margin of the right apex;
soft tissue abuts the left levator muscle without frank invasion
(Example on Image # 20 Series # 9)
Example location: # 3 o'clock
Objective description: Frank extension of soft tissue.
Qualitative suspicion of EPE: Highly likely.
Distance from NV bundle: Extends into the region neurovascular
bundle.
Neurovascular bundle invasion (NVB): Suspected.
Image # 25, series # 9
Location: # 8 o'clock
Objective description: Extension of soft tissue into the region
of the neurovascular bundle.
Qualitative suspicion of NV invasion: Likely.
Seminal vesicle invasion (SVI): Not Involved.
The lesion extends to the apical most margin of the prostate
without clear involvement of the distal sphincter. No
involvement of the bladder neck or rectum.
Lymphadenopathy: Found; multiple abnormal appearing bilateral
obturator and internal iliac lymph nodes. Compared to prior CT
urogram, the lymph nodes appear overall decrease in size
compared to prior study, such as a 1.6 cm left internal iliac
lymph node (series 9 image 2; previously 2.1 cm). Additional
indeterminate 0.9 cm short axis right femoral lymph node which
is similar to slightly decreased in size (series 9 image 12;
previously 1.2 cm).
Bones: Focal subcentimeter signal abnormality in the L4
vertebral body (series 1400 image 34) which appears to be
centrally hyperintense on precontrast T1-weighted images (series
6 image 54), though prior hormone therapy noted.
Other pelvic organs: 1.2 cm left posterolateral bladder
diverticulum. 3.6 cm right gluteal intramuscular lipoma.
| Buddhism | Jainism | |
 |
 |
|
| Practices | Meditation, the Eightfold Path: 1. Right view, 2. Right concentration (intent), 3. Right speech, 4. Right action, 5. Right THINKING, 6. Right mindfulness, 7. Right diligence, 8. Right LIVE-ly-hood |
Five vows of Truth, Non-violence
(Ahimsa), Non-stealing, Non-attachment, control over desires
and 5 senses. Greater emphasis on non-violence and truth. Also follow 3 jewels:
|
| Human Nature | Ignorance, as all sentient beings. In the Buddhist texts, it is seen that when Gautama, after his awakening, was asked whether he was a normal human being, he replied, "No". | Human suffering is due to negative
effects of bad karma and excessive attachment to material
aspects of world. |
David Boje, R. Duncan M. Pelly, Rohny Saylors, Jillian Saylors, Sabine Trafimow
Implications of Tamara-Land Consciousnesses Discourses for Organization Culture Studies
Bottom line:
Diet, Stress management, and the Placebo
effect have a lot to do with the outcome
Accept the
Diagnosis, don't let the Prognosis Become your
Life Sentence! ♥'s
matter to Mind Body Spirit. I accept the medical semiotics of
doctors (after 2nd and 3rd opinion), but I know enough about
probability statistics, that I don't enroll into the
prognosis. The diagnosis is I have a stage 2B prostate
cancer with a 'PSA' statistic of 26.8 (very high) and a small
kidney cancer that may or may not be as aggressive.
Accepting the diagnosis is a wake up call. Alarms are going
off in Mind Body Spirit. Pay heed! Accepting the medical
industry's and the business industry's language and grammar
(aka semiotics) is unwise. Why? Loaded with toxic stress
energy that invades Mind Body Spirit, lingers and festers
there. Accepting prognosis turns your living story, your
Mind Body Spirit, over to two industries (medical and
business) that have a language and grammar (semiotics) that
colonizes your living story, takes over your Mind Body Spirit,
leaves you totally disempowered. Guess what? The Mind
Body Spirit has been doing self healing for a hundred thousand
years of human history. There is ancient wisdom about Mind
Body Spirit. I am an intellectual shaman, a shamanic
practitioner. Time to heal thyself!
Eastern philosophies treat Mind Body Spirit. For example Amit
does Prostate Yoga to reduce enlargement. It is fairly
advanced for a 74 year old, but results are beneficial. Do I
need to tell you to take it easy practicing Prostate Yoga. Ask
a doctor who practices Mind Body Spirit, if you can find one.
March 11 2022 Friday Storytelling Notes
♥'s
matter I have been
doing my Kegel exercises more regularly and I my pelvic
floor muscles are helping me pee less frequently. Since the
Cystourethroscopy and the MRI, the diligence I had attained
in New Mexico had slipped. I was afraid I would Kegel and
hurt my sore urethra, prostate, kidney, and bladder.
Yesterday I began to practice more while sitting, while
walking, while jogging. I found that with a touch or
self-kindness, I could be diligent. I could reassure the
bladder I would do the Middle Way, and not overdue it.
It feels good to be in control again. I am not back to 7 or
8 ounces, mostly 2 and 3, but last night I slept the whole
night, 8 hours, and did not get up till the end, after
staying in bed Kegeling. 7 ounces was the result. I'm
back. Now I can be more self-confident, less worrisome, less
vigilant for the location of bathrooms wherever I am. have
some routine practices. When I feel a sensation in my
urethra, I do 10 to 20 count squeeze, and I can feel the
lower floor muscles. Instead of peeing after exercise
or after a sip of water, I do some kegels and go about my
day. I realize that the cancer tests had got me off my
game. I worried there would be blood in the
urine. I was abandoning my prace. I can practice with
the energy of caring diligence, while watch TV, riding in an
Uber, talking a walk, or running.
Habits of
Storytelling
Question: What is the story I keep telling myself about
myself?
Question: What stories about myself am I sharing with
you?
Question: What story
about organizations am I sharing with you?
Question: What story about the ecosystem am I telling
myself? ....telling you?
I am seeing my
thinking much more clearly. Some of this thinking I am
seeing fro the very first time. When I look someone in the
face, or am breathing in-Nature, the storytelling is
different.
The three Karmas: Thinking, Speech, and Action have
everything to do with being kind to self and others or being
unkind to self and others.
Question: Am I thinking instead of Being?
Question: Am I Being instead of Thinking?
Question: Am I Doing (acting) instead of Being and Thinking?
The three energies:
Concentration, Mindfulness, and Diligence shift my habits of
storytelling.
My energy practices as a shamanic practitioner is a good
example. My commitment is to drum each morning. Some
mornings I don't strap the drum on my back and I go running
without it. I say, Oh its OO, I can listen to the tape of
drumming. But some days I don't do that either. I say
to myself, "It's OK to skip it." This is about
diligence to my shamanic practice. It is about small things,
that add up day by day to integrity. When I am consistent in
doing my drumming, doing the breath-in and breath-out
awareness while running, and then while drumming, just
be breathing with my body. I have the body I am
grateful for. It is millions of years of evolution to
perfect its functioning,
I notice I am being
kinder to my body, telling my body that it will be all
right, that I love eachpart, and I am more encouraging and
forgiving to my body. I love my body unconditionally. I take
time to stopping to appreciate the miracle of life, then
my energy shifts. I am more attuned to Nature, fall
into non-ordinary-consciousness.
Stop Thinking, Be Still, and
Notice the Breath-in and the Breath-out. My thinking
changes my attunement to Nature, my facial
expressions, and my breathing. My thinking
Mar
11, 2022 Friday 9AM waiting to see the Radiology
doctors, then will have in afternoon:
Stop Thinking, Be Still,
and Notice the Breath-in and the Breath-out.
Met with two wonderful doctors of Radiation
Oncology. An intern, Moaaz Soliman MD and
Dr. Henry Mok.
They were very true
storytellers, telling it like it is. I
have a high risk cancer. High risk has several
gradations, from early end to later end. Mine is
later end of the spectrum. Dr Mendel's
approach in El Paso seems to be right on.
Do tri-modality treatment of (1) chemical
hormones, (2) external beam, and (3)
Brachytherapy. Dr. Soliman and Dr. Mok
recommend an appointment with Medical Oncology
to see if there are clinical trial for high risk
(later end) with lymph node involvement.
Dr. Mok anticipates that today's lymph node
biopsy will be positive.
The priority is to deal
with systemic issues and do be aggressive in
this treatment, which means the whole pelvic
area treated with hormone therapy and then with
external beam radiation. I already finished my
30 days of ADT pills yesterday and had my shot
(one every six months). As Dr. Mendels (El Paso
Rio Grande Urology) diagnosed, I will be in the
hormone phase for 3 to 6 months, then radiation
of several forms. Surgery is not out of the
question, but its last resort. The choice
will be to come to Houston, and stay in Houston
for the radiation or have it done in El Paso.
Dr. Mok prescribed Viagra, since its use it or
loose the function all together. He prescribed
something to quell OAB, Ditropan Oxycontin
tablets. How do you spell relief. This could
have been prescribed 30 days ago.
In a few hours I head to the west clinic and do
the biopsy on the CT scan machine.
We will wait to see if Medical Oncology can
squeeze us in for an appointment. MD Anderson
bureaucracy could have had us start with Dr.
Mok, and with Medical Oncology. That would be
quite rational. But bureaucracy works
against rationality, as we all know.
Good news, Dr. Mok thinks I can travel to
Sweden, have a good time, and will be OK, then
return for whatever radiation treatments are
needed. It will be great to be in Europe again.
I look forward to that.
In my shamanic practice, I listen to my
spiritual guides and my animal helpers. I focus
on my breath-in and breath-out. I go with
the flow because going against the flow is
stressful. Going with the flow things work
out. I have concentration, mindfulness,
and diligence to work with my quantum energy
field. I take a breath-in and become fully
present with the person I am with, and with my
own Body Mind Spirit. This is what
LIVE-ly-ness and letting go of Views (opinions)
and not Over-thinking and not over-sensing is
all about.
In the afternoon, I was prepped in the West
campus of MD Anderson for pelvic biopsy.
It is a Siemen's CT Scanner. I have an IV to
numb my mind, and some shots in the pelvic area
to numb my body locally. After and hour of
prep and wait time, I entered the operating
theater. Everyone professional, me clutching my
Little Buddha (aka Little Mahavira). Some
initial photos by the CT machine, then insertion
of the sample needle. The table rolls in
and out, as the needle is pushed deeper and
deeper, and locates the probable area of
millions of suspect cells. After 40 minutes that
part is over, and it went well. Another hour of
wait time for the numbing effects to wear off.
Grace Ann and I take an
Uber to Mellow Manna Indian restaurant.
The Dosa is scrumptious. We take some side
dishes home to snack on.
Saturday and Sunday Mar 12 and 13 2022
I am turning more and
more to Jainism. I really love the quantum
physics, the ecological ethics, and the path
of discipline to develop my intuitive and
thinking practices (aka Enthinkment). Don't
freak out, the Swastika existed for seven
thousand years before it was appropriated by the
Nazis.
“The word swastika comes from the Sanskrit svastika, which means “good fortune” or “well-being." The motif (a hooked cross) appears to have first been used in Eurasia, as early as 7000 years ago… a sacred symbol in Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Odinism” (More).
In Jainism, the Swastika depicts four possible Beings: Heavenly,
Hellish, Human, and Plants/Animals/Microbes in the Moshka cycle
of Birth-Death that recurs until all the karma on the Subtle
Body is detached. This can take thousands of years of
rebirth-death reincarnation. The way to detach Karma
from past lives and this one is through the 3 Jewels: right
faith/belief, right knowledge, and right conduct. Attract
Karmic and you downgrade to microbes, and have to do a lot of
reincarnations before trying to be a Monk and atain the Abode of
Liberated Souls. But you can just come into Animal/Plant, Human,
or be a Heavenly god or goddess (who must also be reborn to try
again to attain that Nirvana (Abode of Liberated Souls).
Jain
scriptures
reject God as
the creator of
universe. All
gods and
goddesses that
attain the
heavenly
Moshka, need
to be reborn
and shake off
all karmic
form the
Subtle body in
order to enter
the Abode of
Liberated
Souls. That is
where the
universe is at
rest, there is
no motion,
it's
timelessness,
and you have
no body or
mind, just a
very purified
soul.
Don't bother
praying to the
those in that
Abode, there
are in state
of bliss and
peace, and
have no way to
hear your
prayers or
acknowledge
any offerings.
You are on
your own if
you seek this
Abode.
This symbol of the Universe (body
outline) was adopted by all on the occasion of 2500 year
completion of Mahavira. I have annotated it in ways that relate
to my spiritual path.
Ahimsa
The
whole of
Jainism
revolves
around Stop,
to Rethink so
as to be
non-violent
and cause no
harm. To
be conscious
of thoughts,
words, and
actions (as in
Buddhism) but
to go further
by being
Vegetarian,
not to
intentionally
step on a bug,
or drink a bug
in your food
and water.
After all,
that cockroach
could be a
sentient Being
(not all five
senses) but
four of them,
and you are
going to
attract Karmic
consequences
if you step on
the cockroach.
I get a piece
of stiff
paper, and
coax them onto
it, along with
spiders,
centipedes,
and any
scorpions and
put them
outdoors to
live out their
lives in
peace.
It is a
mindfulness
practice, and
its
non-vioent. To
STOP, to
RETHINK, is
part of
Enthinkment,
as I practice
it.
Wikipedia
has some good
summaries of
Jainism and
Ahimsa Click
Here
"The wheel of
time is
divided into
two
half-rotations,
Utsarpiṇī or
ascending time
cycle and
Avasarpiṇī,
the descending
time cycle,
occurring
continuously
after each
other.
Utsarpiṇī is a
period of
progressive
prosperity and
happiness
where the time
spans and ages
are at an
increasing
scale, while
Avsarpiṇī is a
period of
increasing
sorrow and
immorality"
Click
Here for
more.
"These
heavenly
beings are not
viewed as
creators, they
are subject to
suffering and
change like
all other
living beings,
and must
eventually
die. If
godliness is
defined as the
state of
having freed
one's soul
from karmas
and the
attainment of
enlightenment/Nirvana
and a god as
one who exists
in such a
state, then
those who have
achieved such
a state can be
termed
gods/Tirthankara' Click
Here for
more.
"Hence in
accordance
with the
natural karmic
laws,
consequences
occur when one
utters a lie,
steals
something,
commits acts
of senseless
violence or
leads the life
of a
debauchee.
Rather than
assume that
moral rewards
and
retribution
are the work
of a divine
judge, the
Jains believe
that there is
an innate
moral order to
the cosmos,
self-regulating
through the
workings of
karma.
Morality and
ethics are
important, not
because of the
personal whim
of a fictional
god, but
because a life
that is led in
agreement with
moral and
ethical
principles is
beneficial: it
leads to a
decrease and
finally to the
total loss of
karma, which
means: to ever
increasing
happiness"
Click
Here for
more.
Quantum
Storytelling,
Existentialism
and Jainism
This
is my own
rendition of
how Quantum
Storytelling
and
Existentialism
are part of
Jainism. I
believe in
reincarnation,
that I have
had past
lives, and
likely will
have many more
lives before
ascending to
Nirvana
Enlightenment..
I believe
every living
organism can
evolve
spirituality
and after
millions of
years break
free of the
cycle of
Birth-Death.
Jainism
maintains
“Every
creature
living in this
universe
possesses a
separate and
independent
existence and
individuality.
Every one’s
soul is
independent.
Everyone has a
separate
existence.
Every creature
has to put
forth its own
efforts to get
deliverance
from the
bondage of
Karmas” (
Kothari,
2019).
Albert
Einstein once
said, if he
was going to
be reborn he's
like it to be
in India as a
Jain, because
they
understand
science.
Ahimsa
(non-violence)
heads up the
ethical
doctrine along
with
Truthfulness
(Satya),
non-stealing
including no
plagiarism,
Celibacy
(Brachmacharya)
which means no
cheating on
your partner,
Non-Possessiveness
(Aparigraha)
detaching from
greed, anger,
and acquiring
material
things to
massage the
ego.
Jainism and
Existential
Energy Work
For the past
25 years, I
have been
learning from
a Jain monk,
Chitrabhanu,
who died a few
years ago. He
gave me my
Jain name (ari
hunta) and
asked me to
study Sanskrit
to learn the
Jain concepts
such as
Ahimsa, so as
a teacher I
can impart
them to others
in my area, I
call Quantum
Storytelling
(QS). It is
for this
reason I am
careful to
translate the
Jain Sanskrit
words for you
the reader.
Mind-Player
(māno-ramam)
One of the key
practices has
to do with the
Mind-Player
(māno-ramam)
mantra
meditation
does
access
creative
sexual
energy
of the second
chakra that
can activate
self-healing
of the
body.
Mind-Player
(māno-ramam)
meditation on
energies can
get noticed by
the
Body-Talker
that
subconsciously
directs the
body’s
autonomic
Functions
(breathing,
blood flow,
digestion,
immune system,
and so on).
Swādhisthāna
is the second
chakra name of
the dwelling
place of our
origin
(Chitrabhanu,
1979: 19-20,
The Psychology
of
Enlightenment:
Meditations on
the Seven
Energy
Centers). It
is the second
chakra
(gateway) of
water
(creative
energy) that
flows to every
cell of our
body. This
meditation is
to guide the
self-healing
water energy
to wherever
our body’s
37.2 trillion
living cells
needs healing.
Water makes up
55 to 80% of
the body
(depending on
our age). We
can direct the
creative
self-healing
energy of
water by
visualizing
the meditation
chakra:
māno-ramam
which means
the
‘mind-player
of the one who
dwells within.
Visualize a
silver boat
shaped like a
crescent moon,
that you
direct to
whatever part
of the body
has cells in
need of
healing.
I focus
on
māno-ramam
this immortal
dancer of
creative life
energy. The
chakra is the
gateway of
energy that
you can direct
its flow where
needed.
For me, I
focus on the
lower dantian
(abdomen
pelvic area).
It has been
diagnosed with
three cancer
locations
(prostate,
right kidney,
and lymph
nodes). I am
considered a
high risk
cancer case,
in Stage 2B
moving along
to Stage III.
My score is
9.1 out 10 on
the risk
scale.
You can
appreciate why
Swādhisthāna
second chakra,
and the
māno-ramam
‘mind-player
is a way to
direct the
creative water
energy where
it can care
for millions
of cancer
cells in
several
locations.
All seven
chakras are
important
energy
gateways. The
intention is
to get all
seven energy
gateways
unleashing
energy in ways
that tends
holistically
to my Mind
Body Spirit,
and gets the
positive
attention of
the
Body-Taler.
Energy work is
one part of
Jain
existentialism.
The other part
is working on
karma (cause
& effect)
that I am
accountable
for in
this life, and
all prior
ones.
Jainism and
Sartrean
existentialism
emphasize the
role and
responsibility
of an
individual.
Jainism posits
that every
individual is
the architect
of their own
faith, and
acceptable for
actions and
thoughts that
accumulate
karma.
Sartrean
existentialism
endorses the
same belief
that an
individual is
a product of,
and
responsible
for their own
actions.
I want to give
some overview
of Jainist
Existentialism
I am
practicing.
For an
excellent
overview of
Jainism
Existentialism,
please see
Jahnavi
Kothari’s
(2019) thesis:
Finding
parallels
between Jain
philosophy and
Sartrean
existentialism:
Recognizing
the richness
of ancient
South Asian
religious
philosophy
against inst
developments
in continental
philosophy. Downloadable
Here.
I am becoming
atheist, since
in Jainism
there are no
god-creators
of the the
universe, and
I am
responsible
for my own
karma. In some
sense, Jainism
and Nietzsche
atheism have
much in
common.
God is a gross
answer, an
indelicacy
against us
thinkers - at
bottom merely
a gross
prohibition
for us: you
shall not
think!” –
Friedrich
Nietzsche
Source: Curry,
William.
“Atheism.”
Nietzsche
Quotes:
Atheism.
Accessed .
https://www.theperspectivesofnietzsche.com/nietzsche/nath.html
Tīrthaṅkara:
‘ford-maker’,
Jina who
creates a path
to liberation
for beings
trapped in the
realm
of samsara, 24
Tīrthaṅkaras
appear in each
cosmic cycle;
Mahāvīra is
the 24th
tīrthaṅkara of
our
current cosmic
cycle (p. 78).
In my writings
about true
storytelling I
seek what’s
true (Sachai).
I am devoted
to
answerability
ethics. So I
try my best to
avoid Pāp:
sin, vice,
crime, guilt.
Existentialism,
Jainism,and
Quantum
Storytelling
(QS) is
what I call a
spiritual path
to quantum
mechanics.
Not all
physicists
agree.
This has to do
with the
relation of
Jina
(consciousness)
that you
purify best
you can, and
the Ajina
elements of
Matter,
Motion, Rest,
Space, and
Time. Space is
absolute,
infinite,
eternal
boundless in
our expanding
universe
called the
Quantum Energy
Field.
Even where in
Space there is
no motion, and
much is at
Rest, there
are Quantum
Energies in
the so-called
Empty
Space.
All this was
being told by
Mahavira
599 BC to 527
BC. Lots
of Jain
philosophers
write about
the parallels
of Jainism
with Quantum
Mechanics.
See for
example:
Jainism,
Quantum
Physics and
Evolving
Spiritualism
by Dr. M.B.
Modi
Published:
02.10.2012
Updated:
30.07.2015 Click
Here for
article.
He says “The
living objects
are created by
mutual
co-operation
of atoms and
consciousness”
See for
example:
Quantum
Mechanics by
Narendra
Bhandari
Click
Here of
article.
See
for example:
Atomic theory
of Jainism, no
author Click
Here fore
article.
See for
example:
Modern Physics
and Jain
Darshan by
Narendra
Bhandari
Click
Here for
article.
How does this
relate to
Enthinkment?
In Ahimsa, we
try not to do
violence to
another's
view, or to
side with a
view, even to
side with the
Middle Way is
taking
sides.
The practice
is called the
7-fold
Predication
(Syadvada).
Let's use the
example of
assertions.
For an
excellent
introduction
to Jainism
Philosophy and
the 7-Fold
Predication,
see this
YouTube.
Dr. Monica
Prabhackar gives the example of a father with more than one
son. It is the Jain answer to Syllogism, but with a
twist. Each of the seven, has an inherent fallacy of
Thinking, a faulty inference to watch out for. I will lay
out the seven assertions (in bold), and then show how to
MEDIATE each one with an interpretation that overcomes apparent
contradiction (or paradox) (in italics).
1. It is.
From a certain point of view this man is a father of a Boy (A).
2. It is not.
From a certain point of view this man is not a father of Boy (B).
3. It is and it is not.
From a certain point of view is a father of Boy (A), and is not a father of Boy (B).
4. It is indescribable.
From a certain point of view the situation is indescribable
5. It is and is indescribable.
From a certain point of view this man is a father (to one boy) and is indescribable (for both boys)
6. It is not and is indescribable.
From a certain point of view this man is not a father (to Boy B), and from a certain point of view the situation of the father and two boys is indescribable.
7. It is, is not, and is indescribable.
From a certain point of view this man is a father, and not a father, and the relations together of the thress of them is indescribable.
As a
complexity
systems
person, I
appreciate Dr.
Monica
Prabhackar's
presentation
of 7 Nayas:
1. Nayama Naya - Systematized view of the relation of things that are universal and things that are particular.
2. Sungraha
Naya -
Generalizations
such as, Everything
is Being, can
become basis
for rejecting
a particular.
3. Vyauchara
Naya -
Particularization
of empirical
kind reduces
every object
to materiality
and the
nonmaterial
gets rejected
as a
standpoint.
4. Bjusutra
Naya - A
moment or
eventing
period is
taken as the
whole truth of
what's true.
This is a
common
situation in
emplotment
beause
continuous
time is made
into duration
intervals, and
there rest
left on the
editing floor
by the
narrativist.
5. Sabda
Naya -
Language and
Grammar are
used to in
wyas that are
fallacious,
such as the
following can
be three
different
persons at one
time: He sits,
He sleeps, and
He wakes up.
6. Samabhirudha
- One obscure
derivative
meaning of a
word taken
to be the
common meaning
of a word.
Heidegger does
this
incessantly,
which is OK if
you follow him
closely.
7. Evambhuta
Naya - Words
used in
literal ways
function
as a
distortion of
the meaning.
e.g. Giving
milk is the
(only)
function of
the cow.
The point of
all this is
Jainists are
attempting to
get to a
many-sided
view that does
not distort,
or disrespect,
is dialogical
rather than
dialectical,
reductionist,
or opposition
or end in
paradoxical
ambiguity.
In terms of
storytelling,
there is a
classification
of immediate
knowledge,
from
observation of
the sense, and
the mediate
ways of
knowledge o
perceptual
knowledge,
inference,
intuition,
meditation
practices,
scripture
study,
checking it
out with
others
storytelling,
and so on that
the pre
sensemaking
enactment
cannot attain.
This
is the first day of the rest of my life
I am diligent about talking with and listening
to the Hackberry Trees of the East Mesa in New
Mexico. What's true storytelling is not a single
thing, it is a series of small thing that add up
to the integrity of true storytelling practices,
day-by-day, and breath-by-breath.
I take time to breath-in the
Rainbow energy of the Grandrather Hackberry
Tree. It is my favorite place to sit and
drum. This is more of a summer season
phote, with some water left in the pond, and New
Mexico Spadefoot toads the size of your thumb
swimming about in the puddles, all trying to
survive.
Doing daily shamanic
drumming practices is my integrity of True
Storytelling. I practice mindfulness
energy in the simply daily things like walking,
running, meditating at the pond. Instead
of thinking I am breathing in and breathing out
in Space, in Time, and my life is wonderful.
I notice I am learning to be kinder to my wife,
to my friends, and to my self. My gody is
my best friend. It has been perfected over
millions of years of evolution. Self-healing is
a thing. I try to help the self-healing
along and am grateful to be part of a
self-healing community of practice.
March 15, 2022 -- My
doctor prescribed Viagra, and my Medicare and
Blue Cross Health Insurance denied it.
Do you know what it costs? $1,500 for one
prescription.
Pfizer hit
chemical gold 20 years ago when the Food
and Drug Administration (FDA) approved
Viagra.
Viagra brought in about $1.6 billion in 2016
global sales. It had some of the fastest
prescription uptakes and sales growth of any
medication, ever, after its launch, pulling in
a cool $2 billion in annual sales by 2008.
That means it’s well into tens of billions in
revenues since the 1998 debut.
March
17, 2022 Thursday - Shamanic
Drumming Meditation on Zoom -
My intention for
shamanic drumming event: to get some Viagra
alternative, so I can afford to have some
semblance of feeling in my lower region. I
learned from friends in drumming about Tadalafil that was
prescribed my my Las Cruces doctor. If you
don't use it during the two years of
chemical castration (hormonal therapy), then
you lose any hope of erectile
function. I can understand the Health
Insurance turning down Viagra, but generic
alternatives, that cost much less, seem
appropriate to me.
What I learned is
the CVS and Walgreen's have greedily hiked
up the prices of Viagra and generic
alternatives so 50 pills sell for $1,500,
but if you head over to Wal-Mart or
Albertson's Savon Pharmacy, then you get the
same thing approved by insurance, and its
under $50. Sounds too good to be true.
The diagnosis is in from the latest biopsy:
| MALIGNANT | Highly Aggressive Stage 4 |
A |
| Diagnosis |
A. Lymph
node(s), left, pelvic, fine needle asp, left pelvic
lymph node:
METASTATIC
ADENOCARCINOMA (see comment)
|
March 18, 2022 Friday
- My MD Anderson surgeon called,
"You have Stage 4 Cancer." What does
that mean? You have cancer that has left just
the prostate and is in right kidney, and its
malignant in the left pelvic lymph node.
Google puts it this way "
Stage 4 cancer is sometimes referred to as metastatic
cancer, because it often
means the cancer has spread from its origin to distant parts of
the body" (More).
When prostate cancer spreads to other areas of the body, its
still called prostate cancer. Removing the prostate does not
stop the spread. "
Stage 4 cancer usually
can't be cured. In addition, because
it will have spread throughout the body, it is unlikely it can
be completely removed. The goal of treatment is to prolong
survival and improve quality of life...
It is
diagnosed when cancer cells spread to other parts of the body"
(More
Wellness.com). In other word the prostate cancer that was
once diagnosed as Stage 2B, was moved to Stage 3, and now to
Stage 4, because the biopsy and imaging tests are confirming it
has metastasized (aka, metastatic cancer). The goal of treatment
is no longer to cure the cancer, just to slow it down, relieve
symptoms, and extend my survival time. My cancer cells have
broken away from the prostate into the lymphatic systems (a
network of transport of white blood cells and lymph fluid that
to other parts of my body). Once the cells spread and
attach to other sites, they simultaneously fight against my
immune system. The bet on the future is prostate cancer spreads
to the bone, liver, lungs (since blood filters through the
lungs), and adrenal glands.
So I will soon be flying back to Houston to have their CT Scan
of my bones since their machine and protocol surpasses what New
Mexico can provide. And I will see the whole prognosis
team" Medical Oncologist Doctor, Radiation Oncologist Doctor,
and Integrative Medicine Doctor. I won't see them at one time,
but they will confer with one another, and see me
individually. The plat is to be aggressive with the high
risk Stage Four aggressive cancer with some combination of
treatments: surgery, chemo, radiation, and diet.
Not wanting to sail thorough life without hope,I make four
decisions with Grace Ann.
Decision One Grace Ann transferred the prescription for
Tadalafil (20 MG Tablets) from CVS which wants $1,467.99 and the
Medicare/Blue Cross rejected it outright, but we learned that
customers of Albertson's Grocery's Savon Pharmacy were able to
get it approved in my health plan. Se we called in and had the
prescription moved, waited for the text message, and went to
pick it up. It cost $40 with health insurance approved for about
50 tablets. The insurance industry may change its mine, but for
now, I can get some blood flow. I took a Tadalafil pill
and blood flow did increase to me penis, and I felt much better
as a man. No, we did not have sex. We are taking it easy.
I did feel way different in the penis region, and it seems to
help my over active bladder calm down and take it easy (nice
side effect). Thank you members of the Shamanic
Drumming Meditation Circle for uncovering this way to
reduce the cost of pharma.
Decision Two Grace Ann and I are
going on vacation, and enjoy our life together, while I still
have energy, and am free of pain. Maybe to Mexico to check
out the stem cell cures for cancer, unsanctioned in the US.
According to the science in the US (Maters et al, 2008), stem
cell therapy is not able to stop or cure prostate cancer, and is
not as effective as castration. This is not chemical castration,
it is removal of the testicles. My neighbor's dad had this done
and lived into his 90s, but his cancer had not metastasized. Our
plan: Each day is the best day of the rest of our lives, so we
spend it not in worry, but in serenity, peace, equinimity, and
just love one another.
"Consequently, a
tissue-specific stem cell therapy is a goal worth pursuing for
prostate cancer, although it
still has a very long way to go. Nevertheless, there has been
no real improvement in the survival of men with metastatic
prostate cancer since castration was introduced by Huggins in
the 1940s."
Masters, J.
R., Kane, C., Yamamoto, H., & Ahmed, A. (2008). Prostate
cancer stem cell therapy: hype or hope?. Prostate
Cancer and Prostatic Diseases, 11(4), 316-319. Click
here to read the article
Decision Three I am looking into
positive psychology, though I am a critical theorists with major
reservations about it; Dispenza,
Turner, and Rossman are part of the documentary film Heal.
Each has a book on how to beat cancer into remission by
mind control: Dispenza's (2014) placebo effect, making my mind
matter, holding hope for radical remission (Turner, 2014)
surviving stage four cancer against all odds, and willing as
Rossman (2003) puts it, to fight cancer from withing using the
power of my mind for healing. Keep in mind I am a Critical
Theorist, and know positive psychology is not the whole answers.
I listen to my doctors.
Decision Four Grace Ann
and I decide to implement something to parallel whatever Medical
treatments MD Anderson comes up with. We are implementing the
Mushroom Strategy that my daughter Rene Boje, a practicing
shaman who led Ayahuasca ceremonies in Brazil, has been telling
me about. Rene has her own Goddess potions and bath salts
business in Canada.
The
Mushroom Cure for Prostate Cancer As my daughter
tells the story, she knows a guy who had high risk prostate
cancer, and instead of going for treatment like I have done,
such as getting chemical castration, doing biopsies, Gamma, and
CT scans. As the story was told to me, he went to the
health foods store (and some online sources), and ordered
mushroom powers, and some green powder. My daughter contacted
him and wrote down the items I would need. I am waiting to
talk to him by phone, but he had to fly off to Florida to care
for a sick relative. I went shopping anyway. I found them all at
Natural Grocers. I called in the following order:
$18.49 Reishi Mushroom
600 mg per capsule by Solaray Dietary Supplement
$ 9.89 Lion's Main organic
capsules by Natural Grocers
$30.09 Greens Blend Superfood powderd by
Amazing Grass 8.5oz.
$ 7.59 Two Lion's Mane
mushrooms from the produce section
$ 4.99 Lettuce Romaine (not part
of the treatment, but part of my diet)
$$71.05
Subtotal
In sum, I my vision
quest name is 'Surrenders to Spirit' and my Jain
name is 'Ari Hunta' (I have no enemies,
everyone, even cancer cells are my friend). I
have millions of friends. I am using my time
studying the Quantum Storytelling of early
Jainism.
I am noticing that the existentialism,
epistemology, ontic, and ontology of Jainism
philosophy did not emerge full blown at its
beginning during the life of Mahavira.
After Buddhisms and
Brahmanism, and before Jainism, there was a
religion that seems quite shamanic to me called
Ājīvikism:
According to Balcerowicz (2015),"Ājīvikism was
once ranked one of the most important
religions in India between the 4th and 2nd
centuries BCE, after Buddhism, ‘Brahmanism’
and before Jainism, but is now a forgotten
Indian religion. However, Jainism has remained
an integral part of the religious landscape of
South Asia, despite the common beginnings
shared with Ājīvikism." See Balcerowicz,
P. (2015). Early Asceticism in
India: Ājīvikism and Jainism. Routledge.
This
2013 Youtube by professor Balcerowicz of
University of London Center
for Jain Studies gives you some
historical grounding. His talk is titled
I am exploring the early antenarrative fragments that cohered into Quantum Storytelling of Janism. It begins with some basic principles in one of the Sacred Jain texts:Qvarnström, Olle. “Jain Tantra: Divinatory and Meditative Practices in the Twelfth-Century Yogaśāstra of Hemacandra.” Tantra in Practice. Ed. David Gordon White, 595-604. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000.
------. The Yogaśāstra of Hemacandra. A Twelfth Century Handbook on Śvetāmbara Jainism. Translated by Olle Qvarnström. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press, 2002.
Tukol, T. K. Sallekhanā (1978). Yoga, Meditation & Mysticism in Jainism. New Delhi: Shri Raj Krishen Jain Charitable Trust.
Click Here for
YouTube
Click Here for
YouTube
Click Here for Amazing
Storytelling From the Heart
Click Here for Jainism
Philosophy By Dr. Monica Prabhackar
Click Here for YouTubeNine Tattvas (Principles):
--------------------------
1. Jiva - soul or living being (Consciousness)
2. Ajiva - non-living substances
3. Asrava - cause of the influx of karma
4. Bandh - bondage of karma
5.*Punya - virtue
6.*Papa - sin
7. Samvara - arrest of the influx of karma
8. Nirjara - exhaustion of the accumulated karma
9. Moksha - total liberation from karma
Jain religion puts a significant emphasis on the thought process of
a human being. A person's behavior and his actions are the
reflection of his internal thoughts, day in and day out. It is not
the action but intention behind the action results in the
accumulation of Karma.
One should be very careful about his thoughts, how he thinks, and
the subject matter of his thought.
To make room for pure thoughts, and to drive out the evil ones,
Jainism recommends to meditate the following twelve thoughts or
Bhavnas.
The reflections are also called Anuprekshas, longings, thoughts,
aspirations, or Bhavnas:
1. Anitya Bhavna - Impermanence of the world
2. Asarana Bhavna - No one provides protection
3. Samsara Bhavna - No permanent relationship in universe
4. Ekatva Bhavna - Solitude of the soul
5. Anyatva Bhavna - Separateness
6. Asuci Bhavna - Impureness of the body
7. Asrava Bhavna - Influx of karma
8. Samvara Bhavna - Stoppage of influx of karma
9. Nirjara Bhavna - Shedding of karma
10. Loka Bhavna - Transitory of universe
11. Bodhi-durlabha - Unattainability of right faith,
Bhavna knowledge, and conduct
12. Dharma Bhavna - Unattainability of true preceptor,
scriptures, and religion
Some notes on #11: "Under this reflection, one thinks that it is very difficult for the
transmigrating soul to acquire right faith, right knowledge, and
right conduct in this world. Therefore, when one's has the
opportunity to be a religious person, take the advantage of it to
develop right religious talent. This thought will strengthen one's
effort to attain them, and live accordingly."
Four Bhavnas or Virtues
-----------------------
Besides the twelve Bhavnas described above Jainism has laid great
importance on the following four Bhavnas or virtues. They are
mentioned here for clarification.
Amity, love, and friendship - Maitri
Appreciation, respect and joy - Pramoda
Compassion - Karuna
Equanimity and tolerance - Madhyastha
There you have it. We made some decisions that are complimentary to
the medical prognosis (a plan that will emerge after the next
journey to Cancer Mecca in a month or so we will have a treatment
plan). Whatever plan, I continue focus on my own spiritual journey.
I'm enjoying relating existentialism and Shamanism to Jainism.
March 19, 2022 Saturday -
good relaxing day
March 20, 2022 Sunday For men,
next to skin cancer, prostate cancer is second major cancer.
Research on Cancer is not on all types of treatments. That is why surgery, radiation, and chemo get top billing by the NCCN (National Comprehensive Cancer Network) guidelines which most doctors and cancer clinics are following. For my stage 4 prostate cancer that is out of the wood shed, those standart treatments do not work, so the survival rate with standard treatments, past 5 yeears is 29%.
"In American men, prostate cancer is only behind skin cancer
as the most common form of cancer[1]. Statistics estimate that
in the U.S. there will be about 164,690 new diagnosis of
prostate cancer and about 29,430 death from prostate cancer in
2018[1]. In their lifetime 1-9 men will be diagnosed with
prostate cancer, and 1 in 41 of those diagnosed will succumb
to complications related to the disease[1]. The five-year
survival rate for prostate cancer patients falls to 29% when
prostate cancer metastasizes and spreads through the body[1].
This staggering decline in survival rate highlights the
serious disadvantages the NCCN recommended treatments have
when trying to treat prostate cancer that has spread, become
treatment resistant, and recurrent" (IBID.).
I am studying what are the contributive and causal
factors driving prostate cancer. Some contributive agents:
weight, diet, environmental factors (e.g. in my case Agent
Orange in Vietnam war zone).
Targeted Gene Therapy for Prostate
Cancer My friend Jack Appleton told me about a new
treatment for prostate cancer, even at stage 4.
Reports of BRCA genes connected to prostate caner (Liede et al.,
2004; Wu et al., 2011), make it seven times more likely to
develop trostate cancer than the general population.
Liede, A., B.Y. Karlan, and S.A.
Narod, Cancer Risks for Male Carriers of Germline Mutations in
BRCA1 or BRCA2: A Review of the Literature. 2004. 22(4): p.
735-742.
Wu, X., Ding, B., Gao, J., Wang, H., Fan, W., Wang, X.,
... & Gao, S. (2011). Second-generation aptamer-conjugated
PSMA-targeted delivery system for prostate cancer therapy. International
journal of nanomedicine, 6, 1747. (Click
here for Article).
"
Aptamer A106 is a RNA aptamer
that can bind to the extracellular domain of the
prostate-specific membrane antigen (PSMA) commonly found on the
cell surface of prostate cancer cells. Its capability for active
binding and uptake by targeted cancer cells in vitro has been
demonstrated" (Wu, 2011);
Mahira, S., Kommineni, N., Husain, G. M., & Khan, W.
(2019). Cabazitaxel and silibinin co-encapsulated cationic
liposomes for CD44 targeted delivery: A new insight into
nanomedicine based combinational chemotherapy for prostate
cancer. Biomedicine
& Pharmacotherapy, 110, 803-817.
Bose, R. J., Paulmurugan, R., Moon, J., Lee, S. H., &
Park, H. (2018). Cell membrane-coated nanocarriers: the emerging
targeted delivery system for cancer theranostics. Drug
Discovery Today, 23(4), 891-899.
With the growing evidence that Gene
trageting approach to treat prostate cancer has been found to
be effective, the question is why is it not being suggested by
local doctors and doctors at MD Andersen?
"
Almost all major cancer
institutions refer to the NCCN (National Comprehensive Cancer
Network) guidelines for prostate cancer treatment. These
guidelines may be successful in the early stages of prostate
cancer, but the survival rates drop dramatically for patients
who are experiencing an aggressive or recurrent form of prostate
cancer. Simply put, NCCN guidelines are derived from large
sample clinical trials that do not utilize personalized and
genetically-driven treatment and immunotherapy options which can
be vitally important for both late-stage and early-stage
prostate cancer. This lack of personalization is just one reason
the conventional approach can be largely ineffective for certain
patients." (EVITA).
March
21, 2022 Monday A rich day indeed. It began
at 4:57 AM with reading Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu's (1979) book
once again, The Psychology of Enlightenment: Meditations on
the Seven Energy Centers. I found a special
meditation that a Seer does in Jainism. A Seer is for me,
someone shamanic. I realize I am studying core shamanism
(Michael Harner's approach) but also for over twenty years,
since meeting Grace Ann, I have also be mentored by Chitrabhanu
(born July 26, 1992, died April 19, 2019). Could it be
that there is a shamanic Jain, and have known him all these
years. Am I becoming a Jain Shamanic Practitioner.
Gurudev was a co-founder
of JAINA (an acronym), name for the Federation of Jain
Associations in North America, founded in 1981, with a mission
to preserve, practice, and promote Jainism in USA and Canada.
Their logo is a bit different from the ones above. There are
more than 70 organizations in JAINA, representing 160,000
members in USA and Canada.
.png){kind=logo}
replaced the swastika with the
Jain Aum, due to negative connotations associated with swastikas
in the Western world. Om (or Aum) is the sound of a sacred
symbol in Indic traditions. Its meaning and symbolic shape
varies between Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism.
Ōṃ (or Aum) (
listen (help·info); Sanskrit: ॐ, ओम्, romanized: Ōṃ) is the sound of this
sacred spiritual symbolOm is also used in Jainism
to represent the first five lines of the Namokar
mantra, that I recite each morning and at bedtime. I
have my own version of the Namokar mantra:
Namo Arihantanam: I bow to the conqueror of inner enemies, I have no enemies, everyone is my friend,Namo Siddhanam: I bow down to those who reach perfection,Namo Ayariyanam: I bow down to those who practice before teaching the masters,Namo Uvajjhayanam: I bow down to those who experience the truth, the teachers of humankind,Namo Loe Savva-sahunam: I bow down all saints everywhere who walk the spiritual path.Eso Panch Namokaro: These five are the most important benediction,Savva-pavappanasano: They protect me from all harm,Manglananch Savvesim: Amongst all that is auspicious,Padhamam Havei Mangalam: This Navkar Mantra is the foremost.
The first Namo is
Arihantanam, and it is the Jain name (Arihanta), that Gurudev
gave me in 1995 when Grace Ann took me to meet him in New
York. Namo means 'I bow down to' Hanta
(destroyer) of my Ari (Enemy like greed, ego,
attachment, etc.). Aanam means teacher or preacher (what
is a professor, if not that.). Put it together: Namo+Ari+Hant+Anam
means
I bow down to + Enemies (like greed, ego, & so on) +
Destroyer (by making them friends) + Preacher/Teacher (my role
in this life). I bow down to the preaching of Arihantanam.
As he explained it, I took
notes, but I only remembered the first part about conquering my
inner enemies, I meditated each day on it, for the first ten
years. I returned to New York to his apartment, and asked for a
new name. He asked me 'why?' 'I am so tired of conquering my
inner enemies, I need a rest.' He replied, "Arihanta does
not mean that. In Sanskrit, it means, you have no enemies,
everyone is your friend. Make your enemies your friends."
This changed everything about how I viewed my life. I am
learning this year, that it also means non-attachment toward
worldly process. He gave me a commemorative coin from JAINA,
with Sanskrit phrases on both sides, and symbol of two deer
face-to-face on one side. I still have no clue what that all
means, but in time I will find out.
I wrote out the instructions of the Shamanic Seer (observing
actions, reactions, and interactions) on an index card
Side One:
1. Sit in open air place, and with eyes partly open and partly
closed,
2. Begin Prana Yama breathwork with ratio 4 : 16 : 8.
In one nostril for 4 count, hold for 16, and release out other
nostril for 8 count. Do this about 10 times. It sends oxygen to
all the blood cells of the body and releases carbon monoxide.
3. Then recite the mantra, 'hrim' for a little while as
I do steps 4, 5, & 6:
4. Gaze the ground in front of me
5. Lift my gaze to the middle point between me and the far
horizon. 40 seconds
6. Raise my gaze slowly to the farthest horizon's limit.
7. Slowly bring gaze back to middle point, then to ground before
me, and then close eyes.
8. Use inner seeing and repeat the gaze to the ground before me,
the middle horizon, and far horizon
9. Attune to each of 7 chakras energy centers, one by one,
beginning with ground (root chakra)
10 Look up the seven chakras energies with finer levels of
seeing awareness to gave one's own Divinity within.
11. Feel the steadiness and sureness
12. Your inner energy seeing reaches attunement as your image of
the physical world gazing you did fades.
Back side of Index card
list some aspects of the 7 Chakra energy gateways (Click
here to see chart).
1. Shivam Shanti is mantra, symbol is square for Earth. It is
base of space of body and sense of smell
2. Mano Ramam is mantra, symbol is Cresent Moon, a boat with a
sail on water, located in pelvis, and its this Mind-Player I
keep working with because the cancer cells are in my gut. The
sense is taste.
3. Rama is mantra, symbol is triangle with logs to make fire, in
navel of body, where my indweller resides, and the sense is
sight.
4. Sohm is mantra, symbol is circle with a heart in center, the
element is air, the sense it touch, and so him means "I am that'
and I also say 'Na Hum' (I am not that), and ask the question
Kohum (who am I).
5. Aim is the mantra, the symbol is an oval with a smaller heart
in the center, the element is space, the sense is hearing and it
means threat, finding purity of my own voice.
6. Pragna is the mantra, symbol is THird Eye, it does not have a
sense, but means thought, wisdom, and compasion.
7. Om Arhum Namah is the manra, its the crown chakra, symbol is
many rays of light, it is my inner Divinity, my consciousness,
and my Self.
Each week I focus on one
chakra, but to the Side One meditation each morning. Sometimes
sitting in a particular place with an amazing horizon, other
times, its done while I walk or jog through the desert.
After the morning writing
and the morning meditation, we had our Zoom follow up with the
Integrative Medicine doctor at MD Anderson Cancer Center. We
asked about the mushrooms I was taking and would that be
acceptable. She was very positive since mushrooms are part of
cancer treatments in Japan, and there are hundreds of studies in
Asia of which mushrooms are efficacious with which cancers. But
she also gave us the side effects of mushrooms. I recounted the
story form my daughter Renee.
March 22, 2022 Tuesday
Today a Kidney biopsy while on and in the CT Scan Machine.
I woke up at 3:49 AM.
Close enough to 4. I would have a couple hours before Grace Ann
gets up.
I did my 75 pushups and my
prayers, the Namokar
mantra, as usual. I wrote in
my notebook about push and pull storytelling. The Before heart
pushes my life forward. The Bets heart pulls me into the future.
The nautilus of my Being is detaching from the push-pull
storytelling. It's not just dropping into the freedom of the
now. It's the whole of primordial past lives I carry into
Being-in-the-world. How I have these desires, a will to achieve,
and get into so many bets on the future I lose focus, lose my
grounding. I'm dialoging in the notebook with Heidegger's book
(1950), What's Called Thinking? (hereafter, WcT). Going
to the Beyond heart from the shallow surface of the Cracked
Beneath heart is part of this wholeness of space and time.
Some bets on the future pull us to establish our dominion over
the Earth. We get caught up trying to be free of the
push-pull, only to be caught in the cracked heart, unable to go
Beyond. I want to pass Beyond the physical, ad Beyond the
five senses, and Beyond the broken Beneath heart of so many
conflicts I am caught up in, and want to disengage from.
Are People 'Rational
Animals'? Heidegger is writing about how humans are
supposedly 'rational animals' but don't seem that
rational at all. A rational animal thinks beyond one's own
push-pull storytelling hearts, and surrenders from Beneath heart
to the Beyond heart, jumping headlong into the void called
'surrenders to spirit.'
As I ponder my book about
the enthinker, Louis Ralph Pondy, I comes to me. Pondy was a
seer, dialoguing with "the antecedent fate of Western thinking"
(aka, Management Thought) (Heidegger WcT 1950: 59).
Pondy sets up storytelling conversations between what is pushing
Management Thought and what is Pulling it to becoming the future
of the Earth, but not by some higher purpose called
sustainability. Management Thought's bets on the future are a
more degenerate imagination, more about dominion
than caring. Pondy (1986) in that bold 'true storytelling'
presentation, his last to Academy of Management, confessed the
failure of his most famous model (1967), still concealed was
a seer's advice. He saw what Heidegger and Bauman saw in
Nietzsche's book Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
Raining outside, so no running today. So I kneel on the
bunko, and did my horizons meditation with Prana Yama alternate nostril
breathing (4 in, hold 16, 8 out). In the near
horizon, a pile of rocks all moist from the rain. In the middle
horizon a different tree to focus on that sort of looked like a
person, maybe me. In the far horizon, the Organ Mountains.
formed 32 million years ago, were caressed by fluffy clouds,
evidence of snow there. I could make out the volcano plug, left
when the magma oozes from great depths of the Earth, pushing up
layers of rock, ejecting vast quantities of ash, rock and lava
over an area of 100 square miles, including where I now live on
the East Mesa.
The short version of the Kidney Biopsy With the prep time and the half hour in recovery, this was a six hour event. This is my third biopsy and it was nothing like the first two. The January 20th prostate biopsy was quite painless. Some shots I could barely feel, then the 17 needles to draw the samples I did not feel at all. The 11 March pelvic biopsy of lymph node had some pain as they had to probe to find the location as I held each breath until told to breath. I could feel something like a hornet sting as the search for just the right location continued. Finally, it was found, and sample taking needles of two sizes were used. The prostate biopsy resulted in Stage 2B, an aggressive cancer had left the barn. The pelvic biopsy confirmed that it was the same sort of cancer as the prostate. I was moved from stage 2B to stage 3, highest risk rating. And doctors at MD Anderson concluded I was no longer stage 3, it was full on stage 4, malignant, millions upon millions of masticating cancer cells were proactively colonizing my body's 13.7 trillion living cells. So far, not to the skeleton, to the bone.
So all in all I expected as a veteran of two biopsies this one would be a piece of cake. I had Little Buddha to clutch in one hand, ear phones to listen to my Shamanic drumming recordings, and one of those airline eye masks so I did not have to stare into the harsh lights. I was set.
Now for the Journey of
a Kidney Biopsy We drove to the hospital and arrived on
time. I waited for the admissions interview. She was very
competent, not asking questions there were there on the computer
screen. I signed permission for the procedure. She asked
about my Living Trust. "I have one, no one in New Mexico or
Texas seems to be able to find it."
I was escorted by another
nurse, through a maze of corridors, to a special wing of the
hospital. I stopped to go to the restroom. Take the breaks where
you can find them. I waited and an RM came to escort me to
yet another waiting room, this one with a bed on wheels, an EKG
machine, and so on.
I had been told last week
in phone intake, this would be like the colonoscopy, I would be
in dreamland, and awake when it was all over. The RN asked
the usual questions.
What is your date of
birth?
Do you know why you are here?
What will happen to you today?
Who is picking you up today?
What is their contact number?
I answered, and signed two permission forms, for the procedures.
Then the RN gave me the IV
in my left arm and it was an easy needle. She did a great job,
and said I had great veins, making her job easy. She told her I
looked forward to dreamland. "Oh no" she said, adding, "You will
be awake for this procedure. We need you to respond the
the CT commands to hold your breath, and when we roll you out of
the machine, to hold your breath just the same way while the
needles go in."
I had an intuitive
feeling, I was in for the wild ride. As Pamela Caldwell tells
it, there are two kinds of intuition, and both were suddenly
awake:
"Intuition can be described as that sneaking suspicion that you feel when something is not right, but you can't put your finger on why. However, this feeling can get confused with the scared ego. The scared ego has an essential role to play in our safety. It signals us when we are in danger. However, it cannot distinguish between the danger we may face from walking alone in a dark alley at night versus the ‘danger’ of failure or humiliation" (-- Pamela Caldwell email Mar 23 2022, used by permission).
Yes, something is not
right to my suspicious ego, and my sacred ego has an important
role to play in my safety. Danger! I am walking in a dark alley.
My pee alarm went off, and I asked to get unhooked from the
IV. "Wouldn't you rather have a male urinal, here in the
bed?" she asked. "I never did that before. Rather just go
to a restroom."
A male urinal
I need one of these for potential emergencies. Mostly for peace
of mind. I opted for the restroom.
I thought
about my fate in the restroom. Went back to the bed and IV
was reattached, along with EKG monitoring clips across my chest,
and on my right arm, an blood pressure band that would
periodically contract, but not painful. On a finger of my
right hand a blood and oxygen monitor clip.
Then
nothing. Just waiting an hour until I was rolled to another
waiting room, near the CT room. I told the nurse pushing my be,
I'd like a restroom stop. I have overactive bladder. Since the
March 3rd Cystourethroscopy
at MD Anderson, I was only peeing 3 or 4 ounces. Did a 7
yesterday with proper hour of sacred meditation.
I waited an hour, perhaps less in the
waiting area, then it was time to be rolled into the CT
scanner room. I asked about bathroom break. "No way. We can
provide a male urinal. You must stay in bed for the entire
procedure." My last CT, the operator let me have a
break whenever. Not this time.
I repeated the hrim mantra, to
myself. My right leg hurt. a rash had formed on my back,
likely from eating the Lion's Mane mushroom raw. I did
my running and exercising, and got the flow working
yesterday, but now it was back.
I did my meditation to the shamanic
drumming, kept my eye mask on, and waited. It was time
to be rolled into the operating room. I took out my
Heidegger book, and try to make some notes.
Enthinkment opens
Management Thought up to become something it has never
been before. No longer about craving, greed,
selfishness. I exaggerate, only a bit. Pondy passes over
the obserpasses.
"Behold! I show you the
last man" (WcT 73). I will write it this way: 'Behold!
I show you Pondy the last thinker.' I show you
the last Management Thinker. I teach you about Pondy...
I am the one calling the
Management Thought to an awareness of the contributions of
Louis Ralph Pondy, my mentor who believed in me, in my
storytelling path and encouraged me.
Duncan wrote this in an
email Mar 22, 2022, and it gave me strenth to go on.
"It is one of the most touching
things you could ever do for Lou Pondy. The first
thing that came to mind was Plato's recording and
expanding the ideas of Socrates; in the process both of
their thoughts were preserved for posterity. Just
like Lou is a friend and mentor for you, you have also
been a great role model and mentor for countless others
(especially me)" --- Duncan Pelly
My journaling is interrupted. The RN
rolls me into the operating room. SHe had me slide from the
rolling bad onto the plank. It was not as padded as the bed.
I lay on my back. The nurse pulled up my gown to expose my
pelvic area. She washed it, and put tape around a
sterile area. The Intervention Radiology doctor came
in, "you will be awake for the procedure. I will numb with
Lidocaine injections. Lidocaine injection is used to
cause numbness or loss of feeling in the pelvic area,
for the kidney biopsy. By blocking certain
nerves using the brachial plexus, intercostal, lumbar,
or epidural blocking techniques).
I read Heidegger, but I cannot
keep up with his medical semiotics. "I will need you to hold your breath
when the machine or I tell you to do so. Can
you do that?" "Yes, I reply, I meditate
and do breath work, so no problem.
The
Lidocaine shots are on the surface, on the right pelvis, as I
lay on my back. Two shots pierce the flesh, and they hurt.
Then comes the probe needles. The doctor shoves them deep, well
below whatever fleshy surface was numbed by Lidocaine. My legs
react, and shoot straight up, and the nurse holds them down.
"That really hurt" I add. "Yes, there are many delicate nerve
ending around the kidneys. "Hold your breath" I am going
to insert another one." "Oh Shit!" I cry out, legs kicking
into the air, then I apologize, "Sorry for the language, I am
trying to experience happiness, joy, and equanimity in the
valleys between the pain." Not sure how much they heard
me. They scurry from the room, and the machine takes over.
The plank slides into the Scanner. The machine says, "Hold your
breath", like 2 seconds, and it says "Breath." The plank
slides out, after a while, and before too longer the team of
doctor and two nurses are back. "You are still millimeters away"
says one nurse. "Try this direction" says the other one.
The Intervention Radiology doctor says, "its hard to find it. It
moves when you breath." I tell him, "I did hold me
breath." "Yes, you did fine, it takes a while to find it
so we can take the samples."
According
to the Mayo Clinic: "Pain at the biopsy site is common
after a kidney biopsy, but it usually lasts only a few
hours. Arteriovenous fistula. If
the biopsy needle accidentally damages the walls of a nearby
artery and vein, an abnormal connection (fistula) can form
between the two blood vessels" (More
from Mayo Clinic).
According to Mount Saini:
"The numbing
medicine may burn or sting when first injected. After the
procedure, the area may feel tender or sore for a few
days. You may see bright, red blood in the urine during
the first 24 hours after the test...
" (More).
More than
once the needles were inserted, after a Lidocaine shot, that
numbed the surface, but not the deeper nerve endings.
About six times, the needles, hold your breath, and checking the
CT Scan pictures. I used the peaks of pain to practice
getting quickly into good humor, doing idle talk with the team,
and using my Jain breath work when not told to hold my breath.
I did a
Jain Seer's shamanic journey of the three horizons. I found the
path to lower world and to Little Buddha and Little Mahavira. I
danced around the fire on the beach with all my power animals.
They gave me messages that helped me.
I had some
time, so I went to my jumping of place to Upper World, a tree I
once climbed, the other side of Mount McKinley. I quickly took
the elevator up to see Wilda my grandmother on my mother's side.
She said, 'you are being brave. It will be over soon." I went up
Mountain Raineer, climbed the cloud bank, and ran to see
'Ralph.' I asked, "Can you be Louis Ralph Pondy
today?" And he was Pondy, then and there. asked
Pondy, "Are you OK with what I am saying about you, the
'enthinker' par excellence. I am clearing a path for Management
Thought to give you your due. You were able to pass over the
common Management Thought and ask, what it could be thinking.
You confessed the failings of your own models. Hope you don't
mind me pointing other failings out. I want to clear a path so
Management Scholars, can see the multiplicity of paths you took
as a thinker.
Pondy said
I was creative, and he was OK with it. He reminded me of the
gift he gave me in 1978, a copy of the book Hope for the
Flowers by Trina Paulus (1972. I was hurt
when I read it. I got the gift's message. I was a caterpillar,
climbing a caterpillar mountain, climbing over their bodies,
drawing blood. Am I that striped caterpillar
climbing the Academia Mountain of Management Thought? Yuk!
Pondy's
message, you don't have to climb over anyone. You can be free,
become the butterfly I know you to be. Get out of the push-pull
trying to prove your self-worth. You are worthy as you are.
Spread your wings and fly.
I want to
head to the third level of Upper World, to the four Shamans I
visit. I climb the rainbow, jump through the clouds. I want to
ask if Gurudev is one of the Shamans? Am I one of them from a
past or future life? A seer. There is a loud shout and I
tumble out of my shamanic seer meditation...
"We got it" shouts the doctor.
He is excited. I am relieved. The targeting needle explorations
have stopped. He gives me a series of Lidocaine shots using a
gun that pops. It's same as used in Prostate biopsy. Been there
done that, so I breath into it. He then inserts the first
of three biopsy sample.
Biopsy needle has hallow tube, and a
plunger to draw a sample from the Kidney
We watch a 1963 Joann Woodward and
Paul Newman, romantic comedy, and its off to bed. It's very
sexist, but a happy ending.
March 31- Houston
Some Practices I do Daily as Practice
of My Integrity of Self-Healing the Jain Way
"
Click Here for exercises to heal enlarged
prostate. I am doing these exercises
Click here for Mayo focus
on exercise by men with Prostate Cancer helping the odds on
treatments.
Click here for Yoga
exercises to reduce enlarged prostate without surgery
Click Here
Click Here for Master Shin approach to
reducing enlarged prostate and resolving frequent urination
Click here for gentle Qigong exercises
and wonderful affirmations"My blood and Chi are flowing smoothly and beautifully"Can Prayer Heal Prostate Cancer. This is testimony of a man diagnosed with Stage II prostate cancer, who was allegedly healed, and a biopsy confirmed it.
"My body is strong healthy and flexible."
"My life is filled with peace and joy."
"I am blessed with good fortune."
"I have energy and vitality for healing."
"I give and receive love in abundance"
Click here for his testimony
At City of Hope, 60 days on mushroom
powder, and men with replapse prostate cancer after radiation,
hormone therapy, and/or surgery, had lowered PSA scores
dramatically
Click here for the Movie Preview - is it too good to be true?http://www.healdocumentary.com A documentary film that takes us on a scientific and spiritual journey where we discover that by changing one's perceptions, the human body can heal itself.
The latest science reveals that we are not victims of unchangeable genes, nor should we buy into a scary prognosis. . Featuring Dr. Deepak Chopra, Anita Moorjani, Marianne Williamson, Dr. Michael Beckwith, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Anthony William ' Medical Medium', Dr. Bernie Siegel, Gregg Braden, Dr. Joan Borysenko, Dr. David Hamilton, Dr. Kelly Brogan, Rob Wergin, Dr. Kelly Turner, Peter Chrone, Dr Darren Weissman, and Dr Jeffrey Thompson.
What
I have in mind is embodied restorying process to help with
healing Mind Body Spirit. I am changing my lifestyle. Today
(Feb 25) I took the Lazy Boy chair to the land fill. Its yoga
mats for me. I'm getting better at half lotus, and working
with the Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and so on, experiencing joy and
tranquility. It is about empowering the self to have an
internal locus of control. It starts with a Mason Jar.
Click Here for
YouTube
My YouTube on How Peeing in Mason Jar is MIND PLAY retraining your Subconscious Body Talk, to heal Prostate Cancer
https://youtu.be/ljsOkzs8cPY
My name is Professor David Michael Boje, Ph.D. Please consult your doctors. I am a storytelling researcher diagnosed with Stage 2B (headed to Stage 3) Prostate Cancer, plus a Kidney Cancer.
I renamed my cancer the Little Buddha. Why? I use something call embodied restorying process to turn an enemy into a friend. Little Buddha is there to help me understand how to change my life into wellbeing. It has the story of how the Helping Spirt came to me in Shamanic Drumming Meditation https://davidboje.com/shamanic for weekly meetings on Zoom.
I use my knowledge of storytelling to create MIND PLAY to create my own placebo effect. I assume my body is this miraculous self-healing system, that has gone haywire in the chronic stress world I have lived in academic life, and before that as a Sergeant in Vietnam war, which brought me in contact with Agent Orange.
I have been stressed out by the medical diagnosis, the treatments including get this, chemical castration. I was freaking out. My body wants to pee every 15 to 30 minutes. So I started peeing in a mason jar, to measure how many ounces per pee event.It's basic science of positive reinforcement.
I discovered I have a pee capacity of about 8 ounces, and my Mind was telling my BODY TALKER (that internal subconscious storyteller) send signals to this guy that the bladder is full. Guess what? It was not full, just 2 ounces. I have been retraining the link between my MIND PLAY to the internal narrator (BODY TALKER SUBCONSCIOUS) to relax. I use some MIND PLAY positive self talk. "You are OK, You are not full, you have half capacity). It's basic science of neuro-linguistic programming.
The usual advice is to tighten up the bladder muscles, instead I learn to relax. Why? Getting stressed out from a cancer diagnosis, makes me want to pee. Lowering the stress of my MONKEY MIND PLAY, I relax and the bladder is told by BODY TALKER (subconscious) to also relax.
I can sleep more hours at night between getting up to pee.
I have added 'Prostate Yoga', Tai Chi, and Qi Gong exercises, and am exercising and running miles each day. This does build up muscles, help Mind Body Spirit to relax.
With each new treatment is a prognosis, wha I call a Bet on my future. You have this many months or years to live. But guess what? That is a probability not a certainty. I like my odds if I learn to relax instead of having more chronic stress, which some say, activates the BODY TALKER to call in more cancer because I am not dealing with the ROOT CAUSE. Western Medicine is narrow minded, all about the physical, the drugs, the surgery, and the radiation treatments. I seek a wholistic approach, and the Mason Jar is first step to recovery of my INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL, and my SELF-EMPOWERMENT. I do not surrender my existence to the medical narrative. I have my own living story.
if you want to learn the secrets of THINKING see ENTHINKMENT.com https://enthinkment.com/index.htm
My work with Internal Narrator I call Body Talk is base on 20 years studying antenarrative processes (those fragmented pre-story processes) that constitute the Grand Narrative, and event the Internal Narrative of the Body Talker https://antenarrative.com
Mind Body Spirit I
have no enemies,
everyone is my friend!
I use 'embodied restorying processes' to make cancer my friend, not my enemy! Enemy energy is the wrong semiotics (grammar & language). My friends the two Little Buddhas (prostate cancer & kidney cancer) are my teachers. They are awakening me to the how to live my life here-and-now. The Little Buddhas are teaching me to live life Being-in-Enjoyment, Being-in-Exuberance, This is a tool we call Embodied Restorying Process (ERP). I will give you the steps and show why renaming Cancer to Little Buddha is part of Mind Body Spirit.
Some
definitions, then the back story. What this is about?
1. Characterize my own qualities of empowerment and what the medical system can do.
2. Externalize by giving Cancer a name that does not make it an enemy. My chose was Little Buddha.
3. Sympathize with the benefits of Little Buddha. What is Little Buddha teaching me about my Mind Body Spirit? What am I learning? Can I be open to the journey?
4. Revise by considering the costs of Medical Semiotics and Business Semiotics selling me prognosis, selling me a future.
5. Strategize by reclaiming Little Wow Moments from the Before of my history, when I worked with Mind Body Spirit, when my body healed.
6. Restory by collecting several Little Wow Moments and making an Intention of Empowerment about your own Future, a Bet on the Future.
7. Publicize because you need to enlist support. I go public in this website because I am not going to put my self in a closet, cut off from the shamanic, prayer, and great advice I get from friends, colleagues, and doctors that think in terms of Mind Body Spirit. I tell what is the true story of my journey.
Next the Four ♥'s. Each ♥ is teaching me something about Being-in-the-world in Mind Body Spirit. I am learning to speak the language of the
four ♥'s:
How
to think about CANCER? Please
Do not fall
into the Abyss
of Medical and
Business
Semiotics
I am sharing this example of my own enthinkment-enactment-quantum storytelling encirclement of prostate and kidney cancer. We all have a story to unfold in Mind Body Spirit. Here's a secret. Align your thinking and your sensemaking with Mind Body Spirit inseparability.
You and I need that Beyond ♥ 'Abduction-Induction-Deduction (A-I-D) to sort out what the semiotics of the Culture Industry and the Medical industry is doing with its discourse of diagnosis, testing, and treatments. Another secret, it's not just the Mind, its Mind Body Spirit, so please 'Don't Over Think it!'
Don't overthink it! Don't
over-analyze your situation.
How Do Patients
with Cancer Renegotiate
their Placebo Effect? Please
How
do cancer patients renegotiate their own living
story identity in relation to medical system that
is authoring a cancer-narrative diagnosis and
prognosis of the patient, riven in medical
semiotics? In other words, there is a strange
relation between the medical narrative by the
medical system, reifying and objectifying cancer
and appropriating the patient’s living story of
their own life. In short, disempowering the living
story. I contribute an antenarrative method that
use mind play in relation to body talk’.
It is widely known (mostly ignored) that back pain
is mostly psychosomatic (Sarno, 2001; Rashbaum
& Sarno, 2003).
“Using the actual case histories of his own
patients, Dr. John Sarno shows why tension and
unexpressed emotions particularly anger cause
chronic back pain, and how awareness and
understanding are the first steps to doing
something about it” (Sarno, 2001: i).
How to DO MIND PLAY
process that activate INTERNAL
(Subconscious) storyteller in
you? Please
be careful not
to OVERTHINK
or your mind
does a MIND
PLAY not good
for your
WellBeing.
Medical narratives of prostate cancer
tend to draw “a sharp division between the things
of the mind and the things of the body, and
only feel comfortable with the latter.” (Sarno,
2001: 2). I propose practicing antenarrative
processes (pre-narrative) in order to change the
way my mind talks to my body. I call this
antenarrative ‘mind play’ that changes ‘body talk’
releases different psychosomatic instructions to
the body to relax instead of freak out. How does
storytelling use the psychosomatic effect in mind
play? With patient doing mind play, “… a command
decision by the mind to produce a physical
reaction rather than have the individual
experience a painful emotion” gets inerrupted
(Sarno, 2001: 5). The body is trying to protect
the mind from trauma stress by giving the mind
some pain in the body to take one’s mind off the
emotion the person does not want to and is
incapable of dealing with.
My point here is the mind interacts with the body,
which makes what I call ‘body talk’ very important
to not just back pain, but how stress and emotions
of fear, anxiety, anger, etc. affect prostate
treatment outcomes. Cancer must be resolved in the
patient’s mind or the cancer will persist. The
body is helping the patient to not deal with the
root emotional cause of stress in one’s life.
How to DO BODY
TALK? Please
be
careful how
you do MIND
PLAY, since
your internal
storyteller
does BODY TALK.
Here’s the thing about body talk. The mind
can change signals given to the body to process.
Instead of confirming the medical narrative,
confirm self-empowerment. By exercising, doing
yoga, running an hour or two each day, Qigong, Tai
Chi, Kung Fu, my body becomes vigorous, muscled,
flexible, and healthy. That does not fit the
medical narrative of unhealthy body, surrounded
mind. It does not fit the expectancy the medical
narrative has of being stressed, anxiety-ridden,
or depressed and incapacitated. It is an
embodied restorying process over an extended time
period, (months and then years). My mind is doing
persistent and constant ‘body talk’ telling the
body, to relax. The mind is kicking different body
chemistry in place, by engaging in different body
talk.
Loss of Patient’s Authorship of their Living Story
as its Colonized by Medical Narrative Semiotics
In the medical narrative, the patient looses
authorship of their own life. And then must
reconstitute their hero’s journey, while
surrendering authorship emplotment to medical
narrative emplotments of their past, present and
future. Looking at medical semiotics, “The very
language of illness narratives betrays this
duality between the illness and its telling”
(Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 283-284). “Illness
narratives are particularly subject to this
implicit schism between that which is lived and
that which is narrated” Mathieson & Stan
(1995: 283).Mathieson and Stan (1995) studied
patient’s narrative identity work, living with
cancer by sorting disrupted feelings of fit,
renegotiating identity and feelings of fit, doing
biographical work. Patient’s experiences in
medical institutions affect patient’s evaluations
of the meaning of their illness within the actual
context of ongoing, organized social
relationships, including the medical system.
Antenarrative processes (Boje, 2001) are by their
very nature disjoined, fragmented, and can be
contradictory. “The narration of illness is often
described as 'trying to make sense of that
illness,' even if the narrative is disjointed or
contradictory, and it’s metaphorical and
representational nature is stressed” (Mathieson
& Stan, 1995: 283).
My question is what happens to cancer if patients
with cancer if they re-antenarrate and restory
medical narrative fragments of their cancer
existence by doing acts of self-empowerment, once
again becoming the hero of their own living story
and the author their own life? I suggest that by
doing what Pondy and I (1980) called ‘Bringing
Mind Back In?’ the physiology of the body alters
the signals that tell the body to mutate cancer
cells, or not. In other words, by a process of
‘enthinkment’ the conscious mind reprograms the
narrative of the unconscious mind to change cancer
production.
“For cancer patients these stories have a special
meaning. In negotiating their way through regimens
of treatment, changing bodies and disrupted lives,
the telling of one's own story takes on a renewed
urgency” (Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 284).
However, medical organizations assemble medical
narratives from biopsies, blood and urine tests,
cat scans, and other techniques without much
concern for the patient’s own storytelling.
My theory assumptions: By accepting medical
narrative bets on one’s future, the conscious mind
informs the subconscious mind to release
neuron-chemical synapse signals for cancer to
increase cell production. By contrast, an
empowered restorying of antenarrative processes
can potentially lower attainment to fear, anxiety,
and ambiguity, thereby the body de-stresses and
relaxes cancer production, and the body’s
self-healing kicks in again.
Paul Ricoeur concluded a consideration of the
relationship between narrative and life by
claiming that 'we learn to become the narrator and
the hero of our own story, without actually
becoming the author of our own life' (1991:32,
italics in original).
Conversational Storytelling
Conversational storytelling (Boje & Rosile,
2020) are forums of 'joint action' (Shotter
1993). With a cancer diagnosis I have to
make sense not just of cancer-illness, but of my
life. My bets on the future begin to take cancer
prognosis into consideration.
I reflect upon elements of my life which I have
never narrated before, and had no understanding of
their role in my identity, up to the point of
receiving the cancer diagnosis and prognosis.
Psychosocial Oncology
The psychosocial oncology literature continues to
produce at increasing rates normative and
statistical data on the 'problems' of cancer
patients:
(a) research on site-, stage-, and
treatment-specific concerns for patients,
(b) pain management,
(c) therapeutic interventions,
(d) the role of social support,
(e) family adaptation, and
(f) psychosocial sequelae in cancer survivors.
This last one, psychosocial sequelae, intrigues
me.
what is
Psychosocial Sequelae?
to MIND PLAY in ways that
Aggrevate BODY TALK to
request More CANCER? Please
It
is when the medical model uses psychoanalytic
(psychosocial) assessment criteria, that subverts
your cancer symtomatology to aggravate BODY TALK
ti initiate more cancer, instead of less. Why?
More MIND PLAY of angst is telling BODY TALK to
activate cancer to take your mind off your deeper
problems.
Using traditional Medical Model, measures of
psychosocial sequelae have relied on psychiatric
indices to assess the 'impact' of the disease.
Patients are classified according their their
emotional reactions to cancer.
What happens when cancer patients are medically
diagnosed with anxiety or depression?
Rates of depression in psychosocial sequelae
studies have been reported to be as high as 75%.
What is the mind accepting anxiety, fear,
depression as its narrated role directing the body
to do with cancer cells?
What happens when the medical narrative by the
medical system does not deploy the usual
psychiatric criteria?
“When assessment of the psychological status of
patients employs non-psychiatric criteria,
reported rates of symptomatology fall within the
10-30% range (Cassileth, Lusk, Brown, Cross, Walsh
and Hurwitz 1986, Weisman, Worden and Sobel 1980,
Wellisch, Landsverk, Guidera, Pasnau and Fawzy
1983)” (Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 285).
What if going the psychiatric route, aggravates
the body’s innate ability to cope with cancer?
“The psychiatric studies often call for treatment
of negative affect in cancer patients with
medications and/or counseling referrals for
psychopathology…” (Mathieson & Stan, 1995:
285).
What’s the alternative? We call it
‘enthinkment’ self-efficacy: “Cancer patients
adjust to their threatening situations through
cognitive activities (e.g. self-enhancing
evaluative perceptions, thoughts, inferences)
(Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 285).
How does all this relate to seven antenarrative
processes pre-constitutive of narrative and story
coherence? “Proponents of this view further
believe that maintaining sharp distinctions
between self and others is a necessary requirement
for the psychologically healthy individual. Once
internal control is established as the ideal, the
research assumes that cognitions are prior to and
constitutive of social life and context”
(Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 286).
By Bringing Mind Back In, there is a shift in the
framing of the relation of medical narrative to
the patient’s own living story. Medical
narratives produced by the medical systems rarely
inquire into the patient’s actual meaning of
cancer in their life world.
For an extended time duration, institutional
events such as the diagnosis of cancer with blood,
urine, biopsies, and cat scans, then with second
opinions, becomes the central life experience.
After that, for extended time duration, comes the
prognosis estimates of life expectancy
probabilities with this or that treatment. Here is
the kicker: “Yet psychosocial researchers have
ignored patients' reports of difficulties of
dealing with the demands of institutionalized
medicine, which is considered instead to be
non-problematic.” (Mathieson & Stan, 1995:
286).
What’s missing here? “Missing is a description of
living with cancer which simultaneously accounts
for the individual's experience of illness as well
as the organization of a patient's social world
and its location in a medical system” (Mathieson
& Stan, 1995: 286).
As someone with cancer, there is a continual
readjustment of my identity narrative in the face
of medical system diagnosis testing, and prognosis
probability accounts.
I now reject the notion that I am a self-contained
individual who is 'managing' some unified event
(i.e. cancer). Rather it’s a series of fragmented
events over and extended time duration.
Cancer itself is far from unified.
“Self-narratives are part of an open-ended
process, with continuous transformations, which
provide a meaning to daily interactions”
(Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 288). This is what I
call antenarrative process that are antecedent to
and pre-constitutive of medical narratives and my
own living story of the cancer’s
characterization.
Using first wave Grounded Theory method, these
kinds of questions that were asked (Mathieson
& Stan, 1995: 291) relating directly to
Enthinkment (E1):
“Describe to me what you recall thinking at the
time of the initial diagnosis.”
“What is different about yourself since your
diagnosis?”
“What is different about your body since your
diagnosis?”
“What do you think caused your cancer?”
“What does the term the 'future' mean to
you right now?”
“What are your feelings about your life
expectancy?”
“Do you feel your cancer is/can be cured?”
Analysis of the transcripts put forth the
following questions (Mathieson & Stan, 1995:
293) about disrupted feeling of fit:
Disrupted Feeling of Existential Fit: “Is my life
changing? How is my life changing?
Biography [retrospective view of self]:
“Who am I,
now that I have had cancer?”
The [prospective sensemaking] Future: What changes
are permanent?”
Biography: “Does cancer fit in my life? What does
cancer mean to me?”
Illness Trajectory: “What is the patient role? How
should I act? What should I expect?”
Stigma: “How does my social world view me?”
Voice: What is my relationship to institutional
medicine?
“For example, a 46 year- old man with bone
cancer, when asked, 'What things are different
about your life now than before you had cancer?
responded” ((Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 294):
“The focus of concentration on the things I think
about are entirely different now . . . all your
plans are future oriented . . . and that is taken
away from you . . . my body keeps letting me down
in various ways . . . I feel like it's betrayed me
sort of, I guess.. . . Some people who I was quite
close with just kind of disappeared. . . . I know
cancer patients are chronically ill or terminally
ill people, but I feel useless, because I can't do
anything any more. I can't work properly”
(Mathieson & Stan, 1995: 294).
HUMOR about
CANCER? Please
laugh often as
part of MIND
PLAY to
increase
Internal BODY
TALK Roaldsen,
Sørlie, and Lorem (2015) take a socio-narrative
approach to human and cancer. humor in daily life
plays an important role in stress and coping with
cancer from the initial diagnosis through
treatment, and the entire illness trajectory.
Socio-narrative gives insight in to
self-understanding in relation to social
interactions.
Metastatic
Castration-Resistant
Prostate
Cancer
(mCRPC)? Look
at the Mind
Body Spirit
results and
prepare to be
amazed.
De
Vincentis et al. (2018) use narrative to study of
patient awareness and quality of life with
metastatic castration-resistant prostate cancer
(mCRPC).
“Prostate cancer most
commonly metastasizes to the skeleton, leading to
extremely fragile bones.” The mCRPC scenario has
an impact on patient’s quality of life. Even
before it metastasizes, prostate cancer through
all phases of from diagnosis reveal, more testing,
prognosis, and treatments to prevent
metastasizing. “After an initial lack of awareness
of the disease or denial of its effects, symptoms
of pain, fatigue and side effects often led to
sadness, fear and loneliness.”
Is this the only possible scenario, the only
antenarrative bet on the future.
The narrative patient journey of persons with
prostate cancer.
“Symptoms, such as urinary problems, were present
in 77% of patients before the diagnosis of
prostate cancer.” Then comes the PSA testing, and
high scores call for biopsy and body scans.
Overall results for De Vincenti et al:
* Patients experienced a substantial
impacton quality of life, particularly interms of
patients’ need ... for at least several hours a
day and difficulties in walks because of bone pain
and fatigue.
* Care givers experienced a
substantial psychological burden because of
assisting the ... with metastatic
castration-resistant prostate cancer.
* The participants’ perception of
radium-223 was overall positive, since it was
considered by the majority helping to restore
patients’ daily activities and to improve quality
of life.
* The memory of emotions at the
diagnosis was removed by the majority of patients,
revealing an initial lack of awareness by them.
* Consequences of standard
treatments on sexual function were initially not
completely clear to patients.
My intention is to Relax, by quieting my
chattering thinking mind, quiet my overactive
sensorium (5 senses) hypervigilance, to relax Mind
Body Spirit. I align Mind Body Spirit with
Shamanic Practices, with Shamanic
Drumming, Sifu Paul Wong's Art of Tiger Zen
(weekly
sessions click here). Sifu Wong teaches my
youngest son, Chinese Kung Fu. He is in late
30s. We sometimes read from Sifu Wong's book. She
has been coaching me weekly on doing breathing
while I pull in energy and get blood circulating
in arms and legs. It is most helpful. Here
is Sifu Wong doing a training in Chinese Kung Fu.
I do a lot of Shamanic Yoga (Shamanic Yoga,
the Ancient Yoga of Non-duality. Selene
Calloni Williams ; podcast
with Selene). I add in lots of Body Mind
work with Tai
Chi and Qi
Gong tapping; Qi
Gong for Beginners. I align enthinkment and
enactment attunement to relieve any brain
fog of monkey mind, to realign mind body
spirit beginning by tapping
the body,
Energy work is essential for Mind Body Spirit
balancing when one gets a cancer diagnosis.
Consider that I learned I had not one but two
cancers, one aggressive, the other hopefully not
so much. The diagnosis sent me into traumatic
shock, and the above practices calmed Mind Body
Spirit, let it all Relax. I transmuted toxic
semiotics into healing semiotics. My intention is
not fear, it is gratitude for it all. I am on a
journey of joyfulness, bliss and serenity in my
here-and-now, to extract the spirits of the
diagnosis, the treatment, to enter into
forgiveness relationship with Little Buddha (&
Mahavira), and think and sense everything
differently. My future has light at the end of the
tunnel, but not if I buy into the prognosis and
let that narrative run my whole life.
One daily Qigong practice really has helped lower
stress, get the meridian energy flowing, and is an
excellent counter to Medical language that carries
such stress-inducing vibrations. Marisa has a
series of videos, all excellent. This one my wife
and I began doing daily as our morning routine.
Marisa's videos helped me
deal with this next bit of news about my Body. I
will wax theoretical as my Thinking gets a handle
on the language vibes, then return to the energy
work. Stay tuned.
Chemical
Castration? Please
say it isn't
so! Then
the trip to the radiation doctor, I learned that
whatever treatment (radiation or surgery) involves
shots and pills that constitute chemical
castration. No man want to hear that. It disrupts
and collapses my Mind Body Spirit energy field.
The diagnosis itself is a spiritual invasion of
Mind Body Spirit. If I am full of fear, worry,
anxiety, then I cannot embrace life of the three
Autopoiesis system (
The term autopoiesis
(from Greek αὐτo- (auto-) 'self', and ποίησις
(poiesis) 'creation, production') refers to a system capable of producing and
maintaining itself by creating its own
healing). This diagram from one of my 2021
publications about Søren
Brier's work to relate human and nature in the
field of cyber-semiotics (a Charles Sanders Peirce
fan, as am I). See the earlier version:
Brier, Søren. (1995). Cyber-Semiotics: On autopoiesis, code-duality and sign games in bio-semiotics. Cybernetics and Human Knowing, 3(1), 3-14.
Autopoiesis
- defined as a system capable of creating its own parts
Living
Systems have several systems of self-creating,
Bodies heal themselves if
we
get out of the way.
How to
think with
Alignment?
The Mind is always
thinking and
saying
something and
the Heart is
its own
intelligence.
Our Speech can
get out of
alignment, not
saying what
mind thinks or
heart
wants.
Put two people
in dialogue,
there are
three kinds of
autopoiesis
involved in
relationships.
My point in these
diagrammatics is quite simple. We are not separate
from the world. We are apart of the world and to
heal Mind Body Spirit is a problem called We are
Already Nature.
My second point:
The Medical Semiotics, the
Business Semiotics, and the
University Semiotics are
socio-communicative language games,
but there is the Mind and Body
psychological autopoiesis, and it
affects the Lower Dantian, the gut
where my Prostate and Kidney -- the
body seeks to create the cells
needed to heal itself. That is why
the three autopoieses are so
important to Mind Body Spirit.
Chemical
Castration is
Toxic
Language, a
medical
Nemesis The
medical semiotic interrupts my Quantum
Storytelling (QS) energy field. It is a spiritual
intrusion. Fear, worry, and anxiety are a prime
cause of many dis-eases, including the cancers I
have. Let invoke some Sanskrit, from Jainism: Na
Hum (I am not that!). So Hum (I am that guy
with high testosterone production). Ko Hum (who am
I) I am 'Surrenders to Spirit', I am Arihunt
(everyone is my friend, especially cancer, who is
telling me something I need to hear), but not
this:
(Source
and More)
YouTube
by Dr. G (George Lee Eng Geap aka Dr. G)
Weighing in on Chemical Castration for men with
Aggressive Prostate Cancer
this next YouTube, is all about positive
things one can do during the months of this
treatment called chemical castration:
"Chemical castration
is the use of drugs to lower the production
of hormones in your testicles. Doctors use this
method to treat hormone-related cancers
... Chemical castration
is not a one-time treatment. Your doctor
administers the drugs by injection or implants
them under your skin" Side
effects of chemical castration can include (More).:
1. Reduced or absent sexual desire for two to three
years, as testosterone reduction sets in,
2. Erectile dysfunction for two to three years (70%
of men age 70 or more get this anyway),
3. Shrinkage of testicles
4. Hot flashes (Male menopause [aka andropause];
scientific community cannot agree on this; gives men
memory, concentration, less sex drive, mood swings;
can make one fall asleep at lunch time, short-term
memory loss [too late!]), stress, lack of energy...
5. No more sperm ejaculate ever again!
6. And good news, Hope at end of tunnel for 30% of
the men
OK,
so my Quantum Storytelling (QS) energy field is
invaded by such medical and business and education
semiotics. What are my choices? Do nothing and
become Grumpy Old Man, what society tells me,
technical term is the 'they-self' (Heidegger)
expects of my-self. Or I do the Mind Body Spirit,
not ignoring diagnosis, but I own my prognosis. I
have choice to eat raw food, exercise, do Tai Chi
and Shamanic Yoga. I have a choice to exercise,
jog and lessen the male menopause side effects by
hearing my doctor, but I also hear my Mind Body
Spirit.
Jokes Help (this one in my doctor's
office)
Dr. G, however, also says there is light at the
end of the tunnel to the chemical castration
treatment for aggressive prostate cancer. After a
few years, with lower testosterone, maybe the sex
life comes back. My radiation doctor here,
over the border in Texas, says the same, but only
for 30%. He adds, "no more sperm production!.' I
joke, so sex without the mess". He replies, "Never
thought of it that way. I am going to use that
one." Still it's an antenarrative bet on the
future, that is positive prospective sensemaking.
And I am grateful for this future potentiality,
for the light at the end of this tunnel.
Here is my Bet on the Future. In May or June 2022
I will ring this bell, as having shrunk my
prostate organ by 30%, and if any cancer remains
after my Mind Body Spirit practices, then let the
radiation begin!
To get my Chi (Qi) back, I use core-shamanic
drumming meditation (https://davidboje.com/shamanic),
and chakra work, and every modality above. It
takes time to relax, breath, drumming, and do the
nature work in order to to realign, rebalance and
to recharge mind body spirit. For the past
23 years, I have been doing Jainism practices, and
working with Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu, his wife Pramodaben
Chitrabhanu Pramodaji, and my wife
Grace Ann Rosile.
I received this wonderful message from Pramoda
this morning (Feb 20, 2022):
- "One thing is sure that life is a journey with ups and downs. Each up is followed by each down. The in between period is ours to hold in peace and harmony. Not to be swayed by the ups and downs. It is part of the growth. Soul never dies and it is immortal. While we take the ride let us enjoy it."
Ahimsa is a
daily practice I integrate with my shamanic
practices. Here is an overview. Chakras 2, 3, and
4, are recharging since I got the news. Yesterday
Feb 19, 2022, waves of sadness, washed over me,
and with the practices I mentioned, I let the
waves pass through me, and recharged with quantum
energy waves, electromagnetic forces, chi. I am
grateful for Little Buddha (aka, Mahavira, the
24th Tirthankara of Jainism) for the
spiritual path I am on. Karma the law of action
and reaction is not the mechanistic law of cause
and effect material fact, rather they are
spiritual ways of shifting energy, that Socrates,
and many ancients practices with deep
wisdom. The Karma of my past comes back to
haunt me, my time in Vietnam war, my love of
chocolate, sugar, etc. Karma manifests, until the
lesson is learned. Cancer I have a deal to make,
you live on, and let me live on; when I die your
have no home.
Socrates as depicted in Xenophon’s ‘Memorabilia’
engages in the apotheosis dialogue with his foes
(sophists, demagogues) who accused him of
introducing new divinities. Socrates drank the
cup, and heard his friends weeping, and said “What
is this strange outcry? Be quit, and have
patience” (More).
I make a conscious choice to change the
quantum energy field of the events, and I am not
angry. Anger is already the cancer of the liver,
as Little Buddha reminds me. and Little Mahavira,
says, 'overcome your fear of death, and live each
day. Today is the first day of the rest of your
life.' I call them the two Little Buddhas.
They guide me on my shamanic journey. Next I work
with Chakras 2, 3, and 4, and then all the
Chakras.
It is important in my healing to do more than
meditate on Chakras. Chakras are 7 energy
centers that can open up waves for healing by Mind
making Connection to Body and Spirit. That
is how Enthinkment (E1) works.
Next for seven Mantras, to vibrate the body, and to
set intentions for healing. I am opening all 7
energy centers, with particular care for the 2nd and
Mantra Mano
ramam that I learned in my Jainism practice is
the mind-player. Doing the practices helps
me attune to the mind-player The Brain
Education TV on YouTube has wonderful meridian
energy movement exercises for Kidneys and for
Bladder. I have the book Water Up Fire Down, which
is quite helpful. One of the practice series
helps move the energy, prior to doing the Chakra
energy practices.
These exercises clear blockages of energy in my
body, especially helpful to get the energy waves
happening in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Chakras, where the
organs Little Buddha is calling attention to, and
telling me to work on Mind Body Spirit. The
Thinking mind begins working in balance with body,
becomes and focused on chakra energies, the movement
of energy helps the spirit to rise, and make the
Mind Body Spirit connection for healing.
Don't become
Grumpy Old Man!
CHRONIC Stress is
the great Destroyer of you 4
Heart's Life Force Energy! What
if Stress accumulates in the mind and body, and
dampens the spirit? What if these kinds of
movement, vibration, and meditation practices help
us to unblock the energy paths, and detoxify
stress of our work lives of over thinking and all
that sensemaking enactment?
Charles Sanders Peirce is
all about resolving duality of
Firstness and Secondness, by
invoking The Thirdness of Agape Love
(Evolutionary Love).
We live
stressful lives in stressful work environments and
wonder why cancer comes calling. Prostate
cancer once a part of nature, that exist, was once
treated by the shaman, not so in the age of
Enlightenment, its treatment is by medical
technology, and the 'Culture Industry' has its own
way of thinking and making sense of prostrate
cancer, as taboo.
Horkheimer and Adorno (1940) calls all this
shift of thinking, phantasmagoria, meaning you can
not think away or enact away, psychoanalytic role
in Quantum Storytelling, and restrict it to
physics experiments.
What’s true
storytelling?
The return of Enchantment
to E1 and E2 can be part of QS. Or for Žižek, the
role of spirit in a dialectic that includes the
psychoanalytic.
According to
the observer effect as Dewey (1929) understood it,
how I (Boje) think about prostrate cancer affects
the quantum energy field of my body, and its not
all about the technologies, the apparatus medical
industry brings to bear.
Click here for some Prostate
Cancer Enthinkment slides to orient
different ways of thinking about prostate cancer,
its treatments, its meaning.
What to do about prostate cancer? How to think about it? What is the thinking about it? I follow John Dewey, that more is going on than the five senses of sensemaking enactment can comprehend.
Several kinds of Quantum
Physics are contending: (1) Dewey (1929) followed Heisenberg’s
Principle of Indeterminacy, (2) Barad (2007) followed Neils
Bohr, (3) Žižek (2012) wants to bring the
dialectic back in; (4) Horkheimer & Adorno (1940)
concludes the dialectic after disenchantment is not the same
anymore.
Žižek (2011: 935) for
example, in bringing the dialectic of Spirit into Barad's
'agential-realism' 'cut': "The reason Barad does not take
into account this more radical ontological cut lies in her
implicit naturalism." In other words, how to put
Nature and Spirit into the Ground of Existence that quantum
processes are about (p. 922).
My Mentor Louis Ralph Pondy, invited me to think differently and like Dewey (1910), trained me in ‘How to Think’ something outside of five senses. Pondy, the Leaping Thinker, died at age 49 before I could ask “What is Called Thinking” (Heidegger)? Pondy and I (1980) wanted to ‘Bring Mind Back’ into Weick’s ‘enactment-sensemaking, which has the motto: Enactment not Enthinkment.
The Quantum Storytelling (QS) changes
how
we
do
acts
of Enthinkment
and
Enactment. For
Horkheimer and Adorno, Enlightenment Thinking changed How We
Think, by Disenchantment & Deymythologizing, in order to
progress Domination of Nature.
John Dewey (1929)
inspired by Quantum Physics, took an ontological turn to Think
Differently.
Slavoj Žižek combines
psychoanalytic
with
Hegel
(dialectic spirit),
to
ask
for
a
dialectic
in
Barad’s
(2007)
intra-activity of materiality with discourse (aka, agential
realism) which has no dialectic, and is the neither-nor.
We ask what’s the ‘true
storytelling’ in all this? What's the essence of what's true?
Surely its not just sensorium, or the court of opinions, or
what is experienced, but something more enchanting. Pondy
studied myth, intuition, and symbolism, and was on the road to
perhaps a pragmaticism journey.
As of Feb 11, 2022, the recommendation of MD Anderson, after
their enthinkment process of three specialties (radiology,
surgery, and clinical) doing together-listening, the choice of
treatment for malignant Stage 2B prostate cancer (on way to 3,
masticating) and the presences of a kidney cancer (watching
it) is to fly me-Boje to Houston Texas and meet the surgeon,
early March. It is an example of doctors, specialists, nurses,
and intake people thinking-together, and it
includes-in-the-loop the local doctors in New Mexico.
How one thinks about cancer, is stressful, frightening, and
therefore to not over-think it, is a way of living, a way to
let the heart put in perspective what is in monkey-mind.
Monkey mind over-thinks, which changes the body chemistry,
blocks the meridians, affects the quantum energy flows, and
invites a habit for cancer to grow, and does not allow the
body to produce the living cells that make for well-Being.
I am grateful to all of
you for your well-being prayers and wishes, and for the Little
Buddha and Little Mahavira, you send my way.
An infectious grin better than infectious virus.
Today Feb 17, 2022 I am headed to the doctor to get my first hormone shot that lowers my testosterone, plus I’m taking a pill a day for 30 days to eradicate it. This will slow the growth of cancer (we hope, but a biopsy is scheduled), and shrink the prostate, and lower my PSA score of 26.8. Na Hum (I am not a statistic!). All these results mean I am eligible for radiation treatment in three months, but if the goal of 30% reduction of prostate size is not met, then the surgeon removes the whole organ, which has many dire consequences. If radiation can happen, the there is chance for a long healthy quality of life.
First, I received the Lupron shot of 45MG on 17 February, 2022. The next schedule shot is 21 June 2022 (which I can take or not take, per the protocol of the clinical trial).
Second, the Biclutamide was 30 pills each 50 MG, begun on Feb 15 2022 and completed taking the 30th pill on March 16, 2022. This was a prescription from Dr. Mendel in El Paso Rio Grande Urology Clinic. Prescription written feb 14 2022, and got the pills on Feb 15 2022.
MIND BODY SPIRIT is my path. It is a path of three kinds of evolutionary times. I choose to accent the Path of Agape Evolution. Medical Semiotics has taken the path of Mechanistic Necessity for surgery and for pharmaceuticals. May need some of this, but its not my path. Business Semiotics makes utilitarian greed bets. Again, not my path. I choose the spiral of creative love (Agape), in Mind Body Spirit healing, to let the body have its time to heal itself, with me working on the mind and spirit part of the whole.
Read more about it at this website when I used to teach this stuff at the university. Click Here for More.
Got the
Diagnosis
It is about my spiritual embodiment.
I (Boje) gave my Stage 2B prostate
cancer a name, an identity: Little Buddha. It came to me in a
shamanic drumming meditation before the diagnosis was in. I
find spiritual embodiment notion of Charles Sanders Peirce very
comforting. Here is the way the theory works.In reading Charles Sanders Peirce, I am excited about his notion of ‘embodied spirituality.’ He is a believer in God, and New Testament, but skeptical of much of the religiosity. What he seems to be doing is coming up with alternative notions of time, of space, of mattering, and put them into his triadic relationships, then using the abduction-induction-deduction cycles of inquiry to question the assumptions, and get closer to what’s true storytelling, iteratively. Which as you may know is what we are about in the doing conversational storytelling book (Boje & Rosile, 2020).
Peirce's three time evolution theories: Tychastic evolution, Anancastic evolution, and Agapistic Evolution (in Firstness, Secondness, and Thirdness), allows for Creative Love of the Agape in relation to the Jeremy Bentham (utilitarianism) and Darwin (selection of fittest variations) Tychastic, and in relation to the Anancastic evolution he reads in Creative Love (Agape). In Volume VII, a whole book on Love, going through scriptures, and various interpretations, and centering his own. Peirce's theory of Creative Love (embodied spirituality) is not hampered by Cartesian, Kantian, Newtonian, but ventures into what we now call quantum storytelling, in VII on the Metaphysics of all this (Chapter 2, Evolutionary Love). Peirce comes up with Thirdness as a way to inquiry into processes where cause-effect fails to go (e.g. variation-selection-retention notions of time; VI, #69 & #202, for more).
For more on the 7 antenarrative processes, please see Antenarrative.com
How does all this apply to the 'who' question: who is storytelling to whom? In TS we look at the interplay of four who's:
1) Ego-centric-who Peirce calls 'self-love', which as you know is the basis of most economic theory, that self-greed is efficient market mechanism (or invisible hand).
2) Corporate-centric-who Peirce calls love of a limited class (one class of people, against another class of people), devoted to corporate wealth of shareholders, utilitarianism, survival of the fittest variation approach to entrepreneurship, and so on, rather than to good, just, and betterment of the whole of the social or to ecological;
3) We-centric-who (or social) that is what Peirce calls a 'public-spirit; consciousness, Heidegger calls the 'they-self), that puts the social ahead of Nature, and sometimes ahead of Corporate-who.
4) Eco-centric-who of ecology, which is quite divided over issue of spirituality of nature or nature as just spiritless processes.
We get the four-whos into dialogues of true storytelling. For more see True Storytelling Institute
And we help people think and make sense of what's true of an ethical life. And no one we know had more honesty, integrity to walk that talk than Louis Ralph Pondy. Peirce and Pondy were rigorous and creative thinkers. Peirce 'post hoc ergo propter hoc' fallacy (Latin for post hoc), thinking (VII, #114, p. 67) is understood as a process of induction-fallacy, from antecedent to conclusion with but one or a few case. Example, "Every swan I see is white, therefore all swans are white" (then the case of the black swan); "Every time that rooster crows, the sun comes up"; "A black cat crossed my path, and then I got into a car accident"; "Yesterday I did an elevator pitch, today everyone understand me." A well conducted inquiry is not just post hoc. In Abduction-Induction-Deduction (AID), it's about more cases and better thinking, to get to better understanding.
Main References
Antenarrative Process website click here for Antenarrative.com
Arrington, M. I. (2005). " She's Right Behind Me All the Way": An
Analysis of Prostate Cancer Narratives and Changes in Family
Relationships. The Journal of Family Communication, 5(2), 141-162.
De Vincentis, G., Monari, F., Baldari, S., Salgarello, M., Frantellizzi,
V., Salvi, E., ... & Cortesi, E. (2018). Narrative medicine in
metastatic prostate cancer reveals ways to improve patient awareness
& quality of care. Future Oncology, 14(27), 2821-2832. Accessed Feb
26, 2022 at
https://www.futuremedicine.com/doi/pdfplus/10.2217/fon-2018-0318
Boje, David M. Books and articles Click Here
Mathieson, C. M., & Stam, H. J. (1995). Reneotiating identity:
cancer narratives. Sociology of Health & Illness, 17(3), 283-306.
Accessed Feb 26, 2022 at
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/1467-9566.ep10933316
Rashbaum, Ira G., and John E. Sarno. (2003). "Psychosomatic concepts in
chronic pain." Archives of physical medicine and rehabilitation 84:
S76-S80.
Ricoeur, Paul (1991). Life in quest of narrative. In Wood, D. (ed.) On
Paul Ricoeur: Narrative and Interpretation. London: Routledge.
Roaldsen, B. L., Sørlie, T., & Lorem, G. F. (2015). Cancer
survivors’ experiences of humor while navigating through challenging
landscapes–A socio‐narrative approach. Scandinavian journal of caring
sciences, 29(4), 724-733. Accessed Feb 26, 2022 at
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1111/scs.12203
Sarno, J. E. (2001). Healing back pain: The mind-body connection. Grand Central Publishing. Accessed Feb 26 2022 at http://elibrary.omc.ac.ke/get/pdf/Healing%20Back%20Pain%20The%20Mind%20-%20JOHN%20E.%20SARNO%2C%20M.D__11906.pdf
Shotter, John (1993). Cultural Politics of Everyday Life. Buddingham. U.K.: Open University Press.
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